Day Forty-Six

29 September 2006

This is a picture from 2004, the last time I flew on a helicopter - bringing medical supplies into a remote village in Honduras with my husband during medical school.

I just came down from the O8 level, enjoying the end of the sunset after dinner. It was wonderful tonight. The weather is so much cooler now. I actually had my sleeves rolled down all day and had those cold doctor hands again. I love it! Outside tonight, the breeze was soft from the humidity and cool. The sliver of moon lit up the water but I could still see stars. The constellation Orion is out right now and it is a nice reminder of home. It is a blessing to have something familiar in a foreign part of the world!

I had a wonderful experience yesterday that I really needed because I was fighting against the humdrum of ship life. In the afternoon, right when I was going to start studying (Thursday’s afternoons are my days to study ship-board info and to prepare for my Bible studies in the evening), I was told that I needed to go up to Flight Deck Triage to catch a helicopter to pick up a patient. Apparently, our ship was called by a smaller Navy ship that was nearby to get help with a gentleman who was having chest pain with symptoms suggestive of a heart attack. The smaller ships do not have doctors but have a few corpsman and a specially trained corpsman call an Independent Duty Corpsman (IDC). They also do not have very many resources including a full EKG machine. Therefore, I donned my little green life vest, put on a flight helmet, grabbed a few monitors and medications from medical, ran to my room for an overnight bag (you just never know where you are going to end up), and waved at Valerie in the pilot’s chair as I entered her helo. I had one of the nurses with me (who happens to be an x-Navy Seal—you just do not feel the need to have any fears when you are with him), and we had about a 20-30 minute ride to the other ship. It was great. When we got there, the IDC had the patient all squared away on a backboard with bags packed. All we had to do was clarify a few things and return to the helo. The patient was stable and just needed some monitoring and pain meds while we flew back. Good times! The patent ended up not having any cardiac issues, thankfully, and will be released from the ward tomorrow. He gets to stay with us for a while, at least until we are close enough to his ship again to transport him back. Many people asked me how my flight was when I returned, and I am sure I was glowing. It is times like this that I really feel like a Navy officer. I like that.

Now I am all set to hopefully fly some more. There are not many land-based medical facilities where we are, so we might have more patients from other ships that need some assistance. I was ordered a flight suit and I am going to put a medical bag together. Thanks be to God for safety flying, an improving patient, and a bit of excitement in a rather humdrum time on board ship!

Day Forty-Four

27 September 2006
As we are moving through the ocean, the familiar creaking of the ship, gentle rocking, and even cooler weather has come back. Hurray! We are now on to our next mission (which I know virtually nothing of. What need does a doctor have to know such things?). Times in medical have been steady, thankfully nothing bad. Currently I am watching the news--waiting with baited breath to find out if Terrell Owens tried to kill himself or not and unfortunately watching a beautiful valley in CO (that I have driven through innumerable times) from a news helicopter. Such an unfortunate event as a “shooter” in a school. How terrible! And then there is the news in Iraq…the reporters just said that politicians cannot come up with any improved solutions because of the upcoming elections. Also terrible! And just what are we to do with a “holy” war?

Anyway, oh, here is TO. How exciting. He is thanking God now. He is just where he wants to be, eh? Making live news. So that is a little snippet of my life. Sitting in my room on my nice chair, typing away with the news on. I really ought to be going to bed now. I have been trying to go to bed earlier, but it is amazing how I can find things to do to putz around my little room. Not too much different than home (just much smaller). Ha!

Day Forty-One

24 September 2006

(great fruit drinks)















I had a very relaxing Sunday. I was not on duty so I slept in (as much as one could with all the bells and announcements pertaining to leaving port early this morning), ate my usual omelet for brunch, e-mailed, wow what else…I cannot really remember. I also worked out while listening to Brahms’s Requiem and reading CS Lewis’s Screwtape Letters. I got made fun of by my friend Bos’n for it (he seems to catch me every single time I read while doing my workout), but I tell him I just get too bored. I have to ride the bike since I like to read. We recently got new elliptical machines, but I do not like the new ones very much anyway.

I had a wonderful 2 days in Bahrain. It is the first Arab country I have ever gone to. It was a good experience. The colors seemed to be every shade of tan. Tan with white, tan with red, tan with yellow…The city was quite modern with a lot of new construction (especially of modern shaped buildings). Bahrain is quite a wealthy place that imports a ton of Pakistani, Indian, and Thai people to do a lot of the physical labor type jobs. Because of this, a lot of the smells, fabric colors, and handcrafts reminded me of what I had seen in India. There is not much vegetation at all. You could see a few young palm trees outside various buildings. The trees themselves even took on a shade of tan because of all the dust in the air. There were several large beautiful Mosques and occasionally you could hear the call to prayer. Walking around, at least half the men were in the traditional long white robe with head coverings in white, red, or blue colors. Only about half of the women were in traditional black robes with covered faces. But more often than not, the black fabric would have beautiful sequin patterns.
(so decadent)

(Pat and Valerie)

I got off the ship in mid-afternoon and went to the apartment complex where the Navy pilots live when they are on their 6-month deployment. There were rooms and beds for every one of the pilots that are currently on board the Saipan. I was lucky and got to tag along with the one female pilot from our ship (who also happens to live across the hall from me right now and is a wonderful person who has been so much fun to get to know). Since there are not any females living in the apartments right now, we were given a huge apartment all to ourselves. It was beautiful! All furnished, several bathrooms, two rooms, and view that overlooked the water. We were in shock that we got to stay there and it was all free! We then went out to the gold souk and market (that again reminded me of the markets I saw in India—small shops, side-by-side, open to a narrow street so every space is filled with things for sale). It was fun. We then ate at a lovely restaurant where I indulged in wonderful food. After that we found ourselves at Casa Blu. We listened to a wonderful Arabic guitarist/singer while we ate chocolate fondue and smoked apple shisha (on a hucka). All the men would join in singing on occasionally and clap out different beats (the clapping reminded us a lot of the flamenco music we experienced in Spain—the connection was becoming more clear to us). We then swam in the pool on the top floor of the apartment complex. I then took a long shower (without shower shoes and without turning the water up and down to save water. I have a great appreciation for non-ship board showers. Ha!). Valerie and I used the pedicure kit Brigitte sent with me, ate pancakes for breakfast, and drank coffee and juice after waking up in our own real-sized bed from which we had a view of the water. Rough, eh? We then returned to the ship to drop off our stuff and pick up another pilot that was just getting off duty. We had a superb lunch complete with lovely chocolate deserts and fresh fruit juices. After lounging around in the apartment during the hot afternoon, Valerie and I went to a rug flop that was sponsored by officers on base in Bahrain. For a party that was basically required for most Saipan officers to attend, it was fun and they had good food. The rugs the vender showed were beautiful but over priced. Valerie and I returned to the Navy base where we played a game of pool in the Officer’s Club and then went to listen to the last few songs of band that was playing in the outdoor amphitheater on base. It was fairly crazy there…a lot of drunk sailors. Val and I stood out like sore thumbs for some reason. When we stopped to listen the entire band acknowledged our existence and so everyone in the crowd looked over to see who they were waving at. Then a horde of drunk sweaty chiefs (high ranking enlisted) dragged me onto the dance floor for a moshing session to Nirvana. They all took great pride in making sure I was very well protected from the crowd while I jumped around with them. It was something…they loved having their female doc out there with them. Ha! I then told Val we needed to go to the back so that we would not draw any more attention but suddenly found a young blondie’s face in my ear asking what my name was. We got to the back and one of our girl’s in our Bible study (who Val and I have been encouraging in the lifestyle and spiritual changes she was making) came over to apologize for being drunk; though, we were both much more concerned about her being too familiar with a guy from the ship (he is the last thing she needs right now). The band ended and the guitarist then came and sat with us. He was a very friendly chap from Whales that did not think I could be old enough to be a doctor. After our fill of getting too much attention, we went back to the ship contented and ready for another long stint without walking on land.

(Valerie making pancakes)

(a wonderful morning)

The day and a half we were gone was great. Valerie was fun to be with. She was also great to travel around with because she had been in Bahrain for a few months last year so knew where to go and how to haggle. She was especially good at getting decent prices for taxies. They sure did want to charge way too much! We were lucky with transportation several times--we found ourselves in the right place at the right time for getting free rides from people. Once an officer heard we were needing a taxi to the base and took us there himself. Our conversation with “Mad Turk” was funny and gave us a very brief history of the Arabic world. Then some young sailors invited us to ride with a duty driver they to the ship instead of waiting for the bus in the heat. They asked us our rate (rate is what enlisted personal go by—it is their job (i.e. HM is “hospital man” aka corpsman). They were a little surprised to know they were carting around two officers, but we were thrilled that they thought us to be so young! Another time Val asked a very handsome, American looking sailor where we could get a taxi. He said that his duty driver would take us wherever we needed. Apparently he was a captain on one of the ships in port. We definitely got hooked up our entire time on liberty which made our time so special. We knew we had been blessed.

So that is Bahrain…We go now into the bright blue for our next mission before our next port! Ship life continues on…
(rug flop)

Day Thirty-Seven

20 September 2006
So, I miss my husband who has been MIA for a week at a conference. No email and he had his phone off (that or he forgot to bring his charger). I have felt so isolated--like I am halfway around the world in the middle of a hot ocean on an island filled with whiney people all surrounded by steal walls. Oh, wait, that is my reality! Ha! We were supposed to pull into port today and start my 2 day sabbatical off the ship, but alas. Here we are. Anchored off the coast, looking at an area that has wonderful restaurants with yummy food. It was painful dragging myself to dinner and could only get myself to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an unripe pear. The food being served, when you had been dreaming of steak perfectly grilled or fresh spicy sushi, looked absolutely terrible. I then proceeded to eat a milky way (the whole thing) while I sat in my stateroom and watched a movie…
Medical has been interesting (or not so much recently). Would you believe a girl came to medical (to see a doctor) because of ear pain that was caused by a zit near the entrance to her canal? I told her she will be fine in a couple of days with some warm compresses and she looked at me like I spoke Chinese. Are you sure that I don't have an ear infection? You know I got them quite often when I was young. (She says to me) No everything looks perfect except that small zit. (blank look like I was speaking Chinese) Are you sure that I do not need any medication? Nope, just come back in a couple of days if things get worse. Well, what are you going to do when things get worse and I come back? It will not get worse--Ok then you can leave... I wanted to die. Of course that was only about a fourth of the conversation we had regarding the zit in her ear and it was, I am sure, about the same conversation the corpsman had with her earlier before she brought her to me. I looked at my corpsman and asked if I was speaking in Chinese. Did God suddenly bless me with knowing a foreign language? Here is another: I had a wonderful girl yesterday that you would have thought was dying. For all of her amazing show of ultimate sickness, all she had was some sore muscles from doing some heavy lifting the day prior. I was (sadly to confess) pressing on her lightly just to get her to make excessive pain noises (it did not take long to make the diagnosis). When I finally thought I was going to break down into full hysterics and bring my corpsman (who had the chart up covering her mouth) down with me, I firmly told the girl to be quiet and stop making those unnecessary noises. You could not find any empathy in that room at that time even if you had a high tech detector. Sometimes I scare myself. When I told the girl she was fine, I again got that you-just-spoke-Chinese look. Then she said she had chills too and shook and then held herself like she was freezing (it was so convincing—yeah right). Last time I felt this way I had a viral illness and another time I had a kidney problem, she says. Are you having any changes with peeing, I asked. No. I think that some ice packs and Motrin will make you feel a bit better and in a few days you should be 100%. Again, the blank look. Ok then, have a good evening and when you have medical issues come back during sick call. (I had seen her twice in the evenings, apparently she get bored and needs some attention then). Blank look. Then I left. I wanted to die--again. So, that is what your friend is becoming, a prodder just to hear silly noises from drama queens. I feel so proud! I seriously have got to start recording myself to see if I speak another language. I am so interested in what people are hearing. And these are just two examples. The list can go on and I just shake my head in wonder...

Day Thirty-Five

18 September 2006
Here is a little schematic of my little floating home. This was taken recently. We have several boats that do various things that we keep inside our “well deck” (another very large space that is underneath the “hanger bay”). The LCU’s actually have their own crew that lives on them while they are inside the ship. Can you imaging living on a boat inside a boat? Strange concept. They have a crew of about 20-30 members and about 6 people live in a space the size of my stateroom. Forget about reading in bed—you can only lie down on those racks. This week we are winding down one aspect of our mission out here. We will then have a port stop (hopefully I can get a night off the ship with a larger bed and no bells going off every half hour and 1MC announcements disrupting my sleeping in on my day off). I am excited to see another aspect of the world!

Day Thirty-Three

16 September 2006
Today was the first day I went outside all week. Can you believe it? For one who loves to be outside, I was perfectly content to stay inside. Can you guess why? It is HOT. The ship has become a nice refuge from the heat, though it does continue to stay fairly warm inside. I went outside after lunch to let the captain show me and explain to me the mine-sweeping equipment that we are demonstrating the next several days. We picked up (or rather, we were landed on by) another crew of helo’s and pilots. The huge helos drag this big sled-like thing in the water to find/detonate mines. It is interesting. Apparently, there are a lot of mines out here in different areas. A lot of them are left over from the Iran-Iraq war. I also went outside to see the sunset. The air was so heavy! We were moving very slowly and there was not any trace of a breeze. It was quite stagnant and felt like I could not get a very good breath in into my lungs because the air was so thick. The colors tonight seemed to also be stagnant. Too much water in the air! Oh, well. I at least breathed some non-recirculated air!
Medical has been consistent. Smallpox side effects are decreasing. It seems to be too hot to have URI’s (upper respiratory illness) but we have plenty of skin issues. All my patients today, except two, were in to see me because of skin rashes. A few were heat rash, others were exacerbated fungal infections and some were rashes that I call just generic “dermatitis” because I have no idea what it is. Skin never looks or acts like what my dermatology book says, so often I have to “logically guess” at a diagnosis. Now it tends to be a fun game of how often I can guess correctly. Ha!

Day Thirty-One

14 September 2006
Wow, a whole month has gone by. Amazing! Life on the ship has gotten a little hotter as we entered the Gulf. It is something! My water bottle was sweating as much as I was, and I am not even working in the hottest parts of the ship (frankly I avoid them at all cost). However, when I find myself with a heat complaint on my lips, I think of those in the sand, in the sun, wearing gear that weighs as much as half of me. They have no building with air conditioning, few fans, but hopefully, they at least have a little ice. My complaints will be few. The days seem to be going at a nice pace. I have settled into some routines and my spirit is picking up since I resumed exercising again. In fact, I have sore muscles this week. Since medical triage is a very large space with decent air conditioning (unlike the gym, though it is better than the flight deck!), I have arranged to have my Bos’n lead aerobics (yes, aerobics lead by my friend Bos’n McMiller who makes us all laugh as we make our muscles sore!) Monday and Wednesday and then we get the projector set up to do pilates on Tuesday and Friday while being led via DVD on the big screen. Thursdays I say that we are exercising our faith and spirituality while at woman’s bible study. That has been very enriching and Spirit-filled, and a few more people come each week. I always look forward to it!
We just received a ton of mail so the ship is happy reading their new magazines, eating their candy from home, and watching new DVDs, etc. I was one of the lucky ones and got a package from both Mom and husband. I am loved! Mom is an old pro at sending incredible packages, but I had never have gotten one from Kaalan before. It was a very fun first for us (at least fun for me!). I think that Kaalan is settling into me being away. Currently, he is motor-homing it up to Toronto to attend an ENT conference. He sounds great. I think that means I need to be coming home soon before he continues to sound too good without me there. Ha! I sure do miss him, though. We are able to talk at least twice a week and emailing has been pretty good. Because of his current schedule, he has more time to write and is home more so I can catch him on the phone. That has been such a blessing! I ask myself how anyone could ever leave a man like mine behind…homecoming will be so sweet, but I hardly ever let myself think about it. There is too much to do here right now, and home will be coming before I know it. I just am so happy Navy life is not like it was when Elma’s (Grandma Johnson’s) young husband was gone for two years during WWII--little communication, big torpedoes being aimed at you, and gone for so very long! I am so glad that she reminded me of that. Again, my complaints will be stuck on my tongue before they come out! Perspective and numerous blessings have made this time very rich so far. Thank you, Lord!

Day Twenty-Seven

10 September 2006
I had a very relaxing day! I did not have duty today so I woke late, laid in bed listening to music, went to church, ate, read, fell asleep for a two-hour nap, ate again and now I am listening to the ESPN NFL show on TV and writing. Unfortunately, you have to stay up till all hours just to watch the early Sunday football game so I think I will only be able to watch pre and post game shows. Hopefully, I will get to watch one or two Bronco games while I am out. Today had our first “Steel Beach Picnic” of this deployment. While we are out, we have a couple of these to help keep up moral. They are quite fun. Starting at 1100 and ending at 1800, there is tons of salads and meat barbequed on the aft aircraft elevator. Drinks, fruit, deserts…Everyone wears PT gear (PT aka physical training). People play card games at tables brought into the hanger bay and ping-pong on a couple tables they bring out. Music plays constantly and the elevator doors are opened to keep things cool. That is where I love to hang out. I pull up a couple boxes of soda for my seat and eat watching the ocean go by. Tonight I watched the sunset as I ate wonderful chocolate cake and had an uplifting conversation with one of the pilots. Simple, relaxing, quiet…that was my day.

Day Twenty-five

8 September 2006


So my “daily’s” have not been so daily. I just have not been too inclined to write. I think it is because things seem to be a bit routine and not worthy of documentation. Certainly my attitude is nothing to remember. Funny how attitudes can flux as much as the tides, at least mine has. I have been battling with annoyance, passing judgment on those around me, impatience, and an extremely low tolerance. I would like to blame it on the heat. And it is hot, actually HOT! Wouldn’t it be nice to blame my personality flaws on something else? Alas, I cannot. They are too real and come from the a deep part within me. At least I have and am being awakened to the fact that they are there! I remember growing up not really having any idea about what was wrong with me (though, I was keenly aware that something was). I am sure my family knew. Poor siblings…what they had to endure! Ah, well. So now I write with repentance, wishing so much that I could be rid of such imperfections forever. How thankful I am that I can confess to God (who I know must shake his head at such silly faults) and find relief in the fact that Jesus has freed me from my blemished and ugly personality. I know that I am not only free but his love can flow through me and cover my faults so that he can still be glorified. I sometimes am so embarrassed that I can be so selfish and intolerant. Where does it come from? Then I wonder how could people ever see me as kind and loving for the depth of fault I have. God is so powerful that he can still use me to love others—he gives me all I need to do this. How wonderful to know that the caustic side of my personality does not reign!

So, ship life…the medical side of things has been fine. We have been looking at everyone’s arms to make sure that they have a proper response to the smallpox immunization. So far, a few arms have looked like mine and they were also arms that belong to very fair skinned, blue-eyed people like me. Funny…only a few have gotten sick like I had been. I am so glad those reactions are the exceptions! Lately a lot of my intolerance, etc., has been for patients that come with silly complaints or pains and expect instant relief and a diagnosis. So many come to medical at the first sign of any pain or abnormality that a diagnosis is impossible because they have not allowed whatever process to really manifest before seeking a cure. And what is one to do with pain in feet and knees that has been going on for several months though they continue to run and walk daily in boots on steel decks? I am tired of giving reassurance and getting looks like I do not know what I am talking about. I guess it is the curse of every doctor to feel the reproach of those with imperfect bodies who are not willing to be sick or hurt or change their lifestyle. I just wish that it did not bother me as much as it does. This will be a lesson that I hope to be able to say I learned and look back and laugh at this time that I did not know how to deal with it!

Currently I am at my desk in my office. It is after dinner and I am waiting for the one phone-line medical and dental share that allows us to call local (Norfolk) or 800 numbers for free. It is difficult to get a line free when they are working properly! At least we have them. I cannot imagine how things worked just a few years ago without email and satellite phone! We have been out to sea 4 weeks now and have received mail once. Now people are excited about the mail for packages not necessarily news from home. We are very fortunate! I will keep this in mind as I have been waiting an hour for the phone line to open up.
The pictures that I am including are from the Suez Canal. It takes about 12 hours to get through the canal. As we transit, protection is provided by the Egyptian Army (a soldier at a lookout every mile or so, or 1-2 soldiers in a jeep or on an ATV driving on land along side of us). It is a very interesting experience. The canal is one-way with a large lake, The Great Bitter Lake, in the middle where boats in opposite direction go past each other. The scenery is desolate yet striking. The history of the wars in that region makes me pause in my ignorance and amazement. As I stood in the cool breeze of the morning (which quickly turned hot), I wondered how I had ever come to such place. I am blessed that my own eyes get to see such a different part of the world. It is such a shame to not be able to walk the streets of the small towns we pass and get a better idea of the smells, activities, beliefs, and colors of those who make them home…

Day Twenty

3 September 2006

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance
the Lord will bring you todayl The Lord will fight for you;
you need only be still.”
…and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground,
with a wall of water on their right and on their left. Exodus 14: 13,14, 22.

Today was a nice Sunday. Not very busy at all! Church, brunch, book, dinner, devotions, sunset, phone call to Mom and Kaalan’s answering machines, and now back in my room listening to music and reflecting on the day. Church was appropriately (because of where we are) based on Moses and the Israelites crossing of the Red Sea. Chaps (aka Chaplain) stated that we all have barriers or trials that seem as insurmountable as a million people crossing the Red Sea just before the Egyptians came to decimate them. But just as God delivered the Israelites, so too will he provide deliverance to us. He promises to provide a way through the trials that will actually bring us to a better place than where we were before. He essentially will give us bridges to take us down the absolute best path! Very encouraging and comforting for those of us who might live in fear of the future or who find ourselves waist deep in sorrowful and trying situations!

Day Nineteen

2 September 2006
I'll start this post with a picture of my Honey tearing apart our house while I'm away! He's hoping to have a new kitchen done by the time I return.

I just finished watching Bettlejuice (spelling?) with some of the other officers in the ward room (the officer “cafeteria”). Every Friday and/or Saturday, someone will pick a movie (usually along the lines of The History of the World, Stripes, Animal House, Caddyshack—real winners) and the galley will make popcorn. That is the real reason I love those nights. All you can eat popcorn and it isn’t the lowfat stuff either. My favorite! I usually come away full and thirsty because of all the salt I intake! Tonight I had no intention of staying for the movie after I gorged myself with popcorn, but the movie brought back some fun memories of when I was younger. It is such a goofy movie and the music is funny too. I think that we actually owned the CD (or tape at that time?). Caleb and I loved it. I cannot remember exactly any specific memory in particular; it just brings back good feelings of fun with my siblings, especially Caleb. Do you still have the sound track, Caleb?

Anyway, I have not written a daily for a couple of days. Those episodes of tiredness continued to the point that my malaise was getting the best of me. I could not believe that I felt to wiped out! Everything was sore and my low-grade fevers began to run me further into the ground (aka the “deck” here). Where was my friend Sharon who took care of me during my last cruise when I was sick? I missed you this time! I am doing better now. My arm still looks like it was possessed by something from a horror movie and my head still thinks it needs a motrin IV—other than that, I am so much better. I know the smallpox vaccine does not effect everyone the way it did me, thank goodness, or sickcall is going to be a nightmare! The whole ship is now immunized—perhaps a few sensitive ones like me will now get some empathy and SIQ (sick in quarters, aka “a sick day”). Ha!

Today was unique because we transited the **** (this is also why I have not emailed anyone—outside communication was temporarily suspended). It was amazing! I am sure that it brings in that country billions of dollars! The whole area was so desolate, though. Hot, dry, and every shade of light brown. I could not see the horizon—it was all one hazy shade of tan. And the sun was so bright! My eyes hurt even wearing sunglasses! I did not get to go outside too much, but every time I did, there was something interesting and different. That was a definite experience I will only have on this ship! Now that I feel better, I can resume my interest and excitement for where I am at again (it sure did wane when I was so tired!). I am now going to resume a novel that I just started yesterday. I sure do enjoy reading! Until later…


****I often need to refrain from mentioning our area. Thus the stars. Also, I will write about our port stop once we are a bit further away. It was a good one, though!