Day Seventy-Eight

31 October 2006
It is Halloween! I never was really a big fan of this holiday, but I enjoyed a few of the festivities this day offers to a ship in need of a change of pace. Really, it was a day to let some of those with creativity out of their box. About ten departments took part in “door decorating,” and some went all out! I thought the medical department was the best (though I am sure that I am biased)! My corpsman were so creative (and the “door” ended up being an entire exam room). They used my light-up jack-o-lantern that Mom sent me, made blood out of red dye and filled IV’s and beakers. They used our exam ultraviolet light and a strobe light from a life vest to give the room and eerie glow. They used a CPR dummy to simulate a surgeon with mechanic’s tools working on a flat-lined patient covered with a sheet who had intestines hanging out (made from one of our plastic props we use when teaching first aid to sailors). Apparently our patient reached out and grabbed our surprised XO (executive officer)—one of our corpsman was brave enough to scare our XO! Good times. They did not come in first in the competition but was an honorable mention. The officers and chiefs also participated in reverse trick-or-treating. We got a ton of candy from MWR (moral, welfare, and recreation) and cruised around to different spaces on the ship handing out candy. Val and I dressed up as each other. We looked silly because she is about 3-4 inches taller than me so her coveralls did not even reach her ankles and the crotch in my flight suit was down to about my knees. It was funny! We had a good time roaming around the spaces saying hello to the sailors.

Day Seventy-Six

29 October 2006
Today has been a nice duty Sunday. Church was good. Brunch was good. I relaxed all afternoon so that I can stay up late tonight. I ran on the flight deck for the first time since the weather had turned hot many weeks ago and watched a beautiful sunset while I ran (and walked for most of it—those darn side-aches!). I then ate dried fruit and nuts and a Tai rice noodle bowl (which I bought from Trader Joe’s before I left home) while I watched Cars on TV. Funny movie! I am now watching football (Atlanta and Cincinnati) waiting for the Broncos to come on. I think it will now be about midnight since daylight savings was this weekend in the states. That is why I am staying up late tonight. It will be fun to watch—worth tomorrow’s sleepiness!

This week, we ended up leaving our prior tasking at night to head to another area of the gulf due to terrorist threats on other oilrigs (the whole story was apparently in the press this past Friday). Val and I were watching some Scrubs episodes when our captain came over the 1MC that night to tell us the new plan. We were both very surprised and praised God that we were a pilot and a doctor so that we could continue our Scrub’s watching and not rush around to completely change plans and get the ship moving again. Lots of work! Tonight the captain came over the 1MC again. I was transiting the p-ways (aka passage way/hallway) to go to the wardroom to get ice for my knee (it is not a big fan of running on steal, but sometimes it doesn’t get the choice) and many people were hanging out of their rooms and offices to listen to him. Was this finally the news we have all been waiting for? Are we going to be extended or not? He ended up not having any new information on our schedule. Here’s to waiting some more! Today might be our second halfway point, but no one is celebrating. Ha!

Day Seventy

23 October 2006
I have just finished seeing my last patient of the afternoon. Unfortunately I had one of those I-must-be-speaking-Chinese days. Really, it was fairly funny, but so unfortunate that some people can just be so dense. I wonder if I will ever get used to that?

We are currently anchored in a very particular and vital region right now. It was eerie when we anchored at sea yesterday—no sense of movement and the ship noises changed. I had to go topside to see what was going on. It was quite a different view than the usual deep blue ocean that you can see for miles without interruption. Unfortunately I cannot talk much about it just yet. It is very interesting, though. Thankfully, the weather has cooled so is not near as intolerable as it was last time; though, we have some pesky flies on the flight deck!

Yesterday, I was hit with the fact that I still have several months to go out here! Yikes! Very often I try to not think about it at all or else I hyperventilate, eat junk food, and watch DVD’s to forget. I try very hard to keep a lid on that box of emotions. It just is not worth it to even peak inside!

We have had mail call several times today because a helo dropped off 3 tons of mail! I received a delightful package from my grandma and grandpa! It reminded me of college. Right before finals, they would load up a huge box full of fun foods and mail it to help me study. It was such a great! Here I am in another situation where they get to do the same thing. How loved am I!? I am currently listening to Mozart. A CD came with a box of chocolates they gave me. How did they know that I needed some more classical music? I did not download near enough classical before I left! It helps me relax and keeps me focused while I study or type these entries.

Kaalan has been working very hard on our kitchen—I am so excited. We recently have been trying to pick the right color granite and wall paint. It is interesting trying to do that on the internet. First of all, it moves so slowly that “surfing” only a few sites takes about two hours (I have to do something else--read, watch a movie--while the images load). Second, I never really know the true color of anything, so when I get home I will still have a huge surprise waiting for me. Thankfully, I believe Kaalan has good taste (and female friends in our care group to give him their opinions) so will be able to make good decisions on colors. But really, Kaalan and I have never done anything like this before, so I do not really know what to expect. That is a fun thing about marriage—I am still learning about who I married!

Day Sixty-Six

19 October 2006
Today marks the halfway point of this deployment. A while ago I had looked forward to this day with great anticipation. Now that today has arrived, it was approached by most people with a half smirk and a “let’s hope.” The wardroom attempted a celebration with a special dinner consisting of steak, fried shrimp, crab legs, corn, mashed potatoes, and whole table of ice cream and other deserts (all very yummy!). The workers also dimmed the lights and put a few red chem sticks (chemical lights) in glasses to act as candles. It was very cute and a nice touch to celebrate. If we get extended until January, we will just be able to celebrate another halfway point and know that it is for real! Also, I am probably the only one on the ship whose current problems will be non-issues if I have to stay out here, so an extension actually works in my favor a little bit. I am bound and determined to be optimistic, aren’t I? Ha!

Tonight was the second round of the great dodge ball league. Unfortunately I was not able to play with my team, the Purple Cobra’s, because I was leading Bible Study (which has been so great since we started at the beginning of deployment). It all started on Monday, we lost in the first round of the tournament but had a kick anyway. The Purple Cobras was started by my friend, Zach a.k.a. SWOVIATOR (funny name to us here because he is an aviator stuck with a ship job that Surface Warfare Officers, SWO, do). His goal was to stimulate trash talk in order to get people to get teams together. The purple outfits and ridiculous hissing noise (see the movie Dodge Ball if you are unfamiliar with the Purple Cobra chant) paid off so now there are twenty or so teams throwing balls at each other. Good times! It definitely gets people laughing which is what we all need. I laughed hysterically, too. Such experiences I get on this ship!

Day Sixty-Five

18 October 2006
The Saipan Daily Update is on TV right now. It is a daily news show that the communication team on our ship puts together and broadcasts to the ship (on “site” TV). It is just like a 5-10 minute show directed to our ship community. It is very cute and well done. The “journalists” tell us about our local weather, highlights in news around the world (Hawaii had an earthquake?), sports update (has hockey season really started?), an update of Navy operational news (anthrax vaccine is again mandatory for certain areas of the world such as the one I am in—hopefully, I might be able to just miss that mandatory date!), the “hot-runner” of the day (enlisted person who is elected to the title because of good work), and one journalist goes to a different “space” on the ship and interviews those who work there. Anyway, it is a good show.

The past few days have been busy with routine things. We are moving through cooler waters, which is a nice relief, on our way to warm waters again. We will be quite busy with our next tasking. I am off to work out now!

Oct 15

Happy 29th Birthday Saipan!

Day Sixty-One

14 October 2006
I am sitting in my room listening to the gentle sound of the ocean, wet with sweat after a much needed workout, and full from eating my dinner of nuts and dried fruit. Let me now explain that odd first sentence.

One of my corpsman had told me that the best TV show ever is “Lost.” I decided to borrow his first season discs and have been quite addicted to the story ever since. The menu on disc 5 has an ocean scene with the sound of gentle waves rolling in and out. It is so relaxing that I have been letting it play continually for quite sometime now! If I close my eyes, shut out the hum of the ship, and listen to the waves, I feel transported to the beaches of California. I can almost feel the warm sun on my skin and the cool breeze off the water blowing through my hair…Ah, yes. Such a nice place to be for a bit!

I have not worked out as faithfully as I should (such is the mantra of many a person, I realize). My stress has build up (and was pushed over the edge yesterday) thus I finally had a much-needed work out. A medical emergency called away yesterday, when a hatch covering a ladder well (stairs) fell closed on a girl’s head as she went through. She did not loose consciousness, but was obviously in a lot of pain when she was carried into our ER on a stretcher. It happened to be one of my girls from Bible Study—a very cute and kind Californian. She had pain all along her right neck and head and had a cut on her head that was bleeding away. The worst part about all her injuries was the blood coming out her right ear. Never a good sign. Our x-rays did not show any gross abnormalities but we could not clear her c-spine (aka could not be certain that her neck did not have any breaks or other injuries). Clinically we diagnosed a basilar skull fracture. We have kept her comfortable on pain meds and valium while she lays in bed with a huge cervical collar around her neck waiting to get close enough to a land-based medical facility to do a CT scan and then transport to higher echelon of care (likely Germany). Bless her heart. She is stable and is doing quite well. That discomforting blood and cervical-spinal fluid has stopped leaking, too, and she has remains quite oriented, even telling our XO (executive officer) that she does not want to go home but recover on the ship. Anyway, the whole ordeal was a bit stressful which included three doctors not communicating well: SMO stressing out like usual, surgeon not wanting to take an active role in anything, me very edgy because a sailor I know is terribly hurt and I have never taken care of anything like that before (especially without a CT). But everything worked out well for both the patient and the doctors. I learned much better about communicating what I need with my fellow trauma-trained surgeon, who understands now that he needs to take more active roles in trauma situations. Also, I always wondered what I would be like when my patient is someone I care about and not just some sailor I have never seen before. It is a bit different. I grew more edgy and impatient. I will keep that in mind for next time (which I pray will never happen). Anyway, thus the tremendous need for my sweaty stress release today.

And, nuts and dried fruit for dinner? I missed dinner because I went and worked out during the serving time (1600-1730). The gym tends to empty out a little during dinner, so it is actually a good time to be there. I don’t have to lift my 5 lb dumb bells next to a guy with arms as big as my waist who is lifting 90 lb dumb bells (one in each hand!). You can also position yourself in front of a fan, which saves my head from getting so red with heat that I think that it is going to explode! But what made my dinner of nuts and fruit taste great is that while I ate, I was reading stories in Outside Magazine about mountaineering. Dried fruit and nuts tastes so good when you are outside expending energy to reach beautiful summits and extraordinary views (again, I let myself be transported)! Really, I am quite satisfied and content with my meal!

It is nice to feel content when October keeps trudging along. Apparently, our schedule keeps changing so I will look forward to being on land as soon as I see my shipmates leaving the ship and walking on it. Until then, I am water and steal bound and will continue to try to make the most of it. Sunday is another workday, so Monday will be our “day of rest.” However, tomorrow is also a happy day for many which is exciting to hear around the ship. Tomorrow, we are going to receive a ton (literally) of mail! That will encourage many. Well, I am now off to shower and watch Band of Brothers in the ward room (we have been watching two episodes every Sat). It is a fabulous series, and it is just as good the second time as it was the first time I watched it. I will also complete my dinner with a whole lot of popcorn!

Taisia Taraschuk

Congratulations to Brigitte and Andrei! Taisia was born 9 Oct weighing 6lb 4oz and is 19in long!







What a lovely little family!

Day Fifty-Seven

10 October 2006
Ah, another October day during hump month of this cruise. Joy, joy…If you had asked me at the start of the cruise if I thought I would eventually feel like I was in “ground-hog day,” I would have said I could keep myself from that feeling like that. However, lately I have had to look at my watch several times so see what day of the week it was. Is it really just Tuesday? What do I do on Tuesdays? Oh, yes. Sick call in the morning, lunch, and 14 sailors in the afternoon needing their yearly Physical Health Assessment paperwork completed. What day is tomorrow? Oh, Wednesday. Do I have anything special on Wednesday? Oh, sick call and then, hum, do I have any follow-up appointments in the afternoon? I might have forgotten to track anyone down to have forced cholesterol counseling…And the same thing happens everyday and every week. It is a strange feeling, this repetition and loss of sense of time (other than knowing it seems to be going slow).

Anyway, today had a small disruption by having some business executives from the US visit to see what this big Navy ship does. They also had the higher up officers stationed in East Africa traveling with them (acting like very special and high ranking tour guides). I was chosen as one of the escorts (my friend Zach, who was an escort also, said we were chosen because we are part of the beautiful people of the ship—I laughed and then realized we were called “escorts!”). We ate and conversed with our many guests at a sit-down-and-be-served three-course lunch in our wardroom. We then accompanied everyone for a tour of the ship. At lunch, I sat across from one of the visiting officers and had a wonderful conversation about their mission in helping teach/aid national, especially maritime, security in Eastern African countries and coastal trade routes. This officer gave me wonderful insight into some of the countries--the poverty, the governmental corruption, the tribal conflicts, the “wickedness, to use an Old Testament term,” he said. He stated that good work was getting accomplished through partnerships and told me about how our engineers work with USAID to revamp schools and clinics. It made me very excited to know what is going on and encouraged my heart in what God might have waiting for me in the future. My heart longs to help make positive changes in such devastated countries! I do not know what that will look like in the future, but I am so very excited to take the steps to get there.

I trust that this hot cruise and stint in the Navy is one of those steps (as I had hoped it would be so long ago when I was commissioned as an officer). Because of this trust, I am going to try very hard to not get caught in my personal ground-hog day. It is going to be difficult to get through October, I have to admit. I think I already gained a few pounds since the first of October and tears have been shed. I have tuned out this repetitive reality by sitting in front of Hollywood realities (yes, that is an oxymoron). I am sure I will have several days of shutting myself in my room with DVD’s, being uncaring toward patients, eating junk food. But I know that I will get through October. It is odd to view October that way, isn’t it? Usually, October is one of my favorite months of the year. The weather is often beautiful, the air so fresh! But it is a bit different this year. Instead, I find myself on a ship in very hot weather, no land in sight, unknown dangers lurking in every dhow we see, port-stops cancelled until sometime in November, and a possible extension to our deployment that would keep us from being home until mid-January. That is October, and I will get through it by only looking up…

And even when I was not looking up for strength, God still blessed me today. He reminded me that he is in control, that this military is making very good changes in the world, that I can make a difference in a person’s health, that he will calm my impatience with complaining patients and then help me encourage them instead of blowing them off, that my mountains still exist and will be waiting for me and my backpack, and that my husband loves me enough to waste his time by traveling a long distance just to get my favorite trail mix. God did all those things for me today. Another thing he did was making me laugh with the strange occurrences on this ship. A bunch of sailors from the same birthing space were complaining of strange looking itchy rash on their arms that looked like insect bites. Well, that is one thing that usually one need not worry about in the middle of an ocean. My corpsman went and investigated and found a small flat bug under a mattress. With a little Googling, we found that the pest freaking out our male sailors was a bed bug! Ha! My chaplain said that after he prayed tonight over the 1MC (intercom) like he does every night at 2200, he was going to add, “Good night, goodnight, don’t let the bedbugs bite. If they do, take a shoe and beat them until they’re black and blue.” God successfully cheered up my heart today!

Day Fifty-Six

9 October 2006
Tonight (or every early this morning) it hit me that serving my country costs. It has cost me and the people that I love. I guess that all this time, I have not had to deal with the cost; rather, I have not thought of the cost and have seen this time as a grand adventure (though that thought tends to be rapidly dissipating). I have felt sorry for those around me that have struggled missing their child’s baseball game, first day of school, or birthday. I have felt sorry for those who struggle because they are not there to help their spouse with bills and house problems. But I felt lucky, no children and a husband who is quite capable in handling anything that comes his way while I am gone (including a broken washing machine--he has to not only do his own laundry but take it to a laundry mat!). I have been able to suppress the cost to me and to those I love. I cannot call to say hi anytime I think about it. I cannot meet a friend for breakfast and talk about life. I cannot bring flowers and a hug to neighbors who have lost their husbands to cancer and a failed marriage. I cannot make my care group brownies or make my house homey with fall decorations and candles for Kaalan. I cannot be home to encourage Kaalan when he comes home tired. I do not know when someone wants or needs to talk because I am not as easy as a phone call away. And what finally hit me hard was that I missed a dear friend’s wedding! I am supposed to be in those pictures. I am supposed to know first hand how beautiful and happy she was! I am supposed to have witnessed her vows and promised to be there for her in her marriage! The cost hurts tonight. I want so badly to not miss important and small events. I have often felt like life is on pause until I return home. But I realize--it is not paused. It keeps going without me. I cannot be there to live life with those I love and care about. I cannot be there to help those that I love. Now I know the cost. How I know how most people feel on this ship. I know what people might feel since I left. I realize that this deployment is short in the grand scheme of things, but here in the middle of it, it feels like forever. And I feel so bad for those for whom I cannot be available. The cost for serving is a cost all those I care for have to bear. May I then serve well here, since I cannot serve at home. May all forgive me for being gone.

Day Fifty-Three

6 October 2006
The last few days have been pretty busy! Yesterday morning we had a CONREP (connected replenishment) with a supply ship. We received about 40 pallets of various supplies including IV fluid, ice cream, and lettuce. They were sent from the other ship via span wire. Waiting on our ship were the forklifts and a long line of sailors waiting to carry the stuff to the correct supply hold. A helo also did a VERTREP (vertical replenishment), which entails the helo picking up a pallet suspended from a long cord and depositing it on the deck of our ship. It was all quite the production! It is nice, though, because last night we had fresh broccoli and yummy bananas. You have got to love replenishment!

Later yesterday afternoon, we were informed that a sailor had been injured on another ship and was en-route to us for immediate treatment. Apparently the corpsman on the other ship was very concerned about him because when we received the gentleman it looked like first aid was done on the walk to the helo—a splint, an IV, and blood everywhere! The sailor was in pretty bad shape and the other ship obviously did not have the means to take care of him like we do (plus we were not that far away). The guy had abrasions and lacerations many places, was yelling that he wanted water to drink and repeatedly asked if he had all his fingers. He had a very large laceration on the top of his head, a very large contusion over his right rib cage and right shoulder, a splint on his left arm, and several other smaller lacerations and contusions. He ended up having a depressed skull fracture and thankfully nothing else. We sewed him up (great opportunities for our corpsman) and calmed him down a bit. However, he continued to remain a bit confused. He also spiked a fever later yesterday evening and we threw all the different IV antibiotics we had for broad coverage against developing meningitis. He was picked up by a surgeon who came on a shore-based Marine helo this morning (one of the docs who came with the surgeon was a guy who did internship with me at Portsmouth—it was nice to see a familiar face). The sailor will then most likely be transferred to a plane and be brought to a neurosurgeon’s OR in Europe by the end of the day. Poor kid. We never did get the whole story of what happened to him—he had a set of odd injuries so you have got to wonder…He definitely is not going to remember.

Day Fifty

3 October 2006
















I am sitting again in my chair with my laptop on my lap (apparently, that was where it was made to go), listening to “Sea Music” (a CD Caleb put together for me before I left on deployment), and relishing my solitude in my stateroom. I have been a bit discontented and restless the last few days and have been fervently praying for calm and contentment. I guess that is what happens when you are just about to reach midpoint of a deployment but aren’t there just yet. Sick-call has been filled with people who are not really sick. They just have some discomfort here and there. Everyone in the medical department has been rubbing their ears saying “woosaw” to relax. Ha! Things really have not been that bad, really (most of you realize that I tend to exaggerate when I feel emphatic about certain things—don’t worry, I do not change when I write. Ha!). We had some excitement when we found out that a British sailor had symptoms of appendicitis and needed medical help. Unfortunately, I did not fly to get him (yes, I was very disappointed, I was ready to go. That burst of adrenaline is like crack. How I need more of it once I have tasted it!). He had to come a long way so another helo brought him to us in the evening, and he was sent to the operating room a little less than an hour after he got here. Unfortunately, his appendix had had it prior to getting to us and decided to rupture. The guy did really well, though, and was up walking around his strange environment the next day (today). He then got a helo ride to land so that he can receive all the antibiotics he needs and can get further help should he develop some complications (like an abscess forming in his belly from having nasty stuff all in it). So now we are back to the routine, praying that we might be able to help someone else and I can ride a helo again!
Today was busy in its routine. A medical emergency shook things up. Thankfully it was nothing major--just a girl that decided to hyperventilate at the end of a work out in the heat. Apparently this is not new to her. She is the second girl that I have seen this happen to several times. It is a bit bazaar to me, but there you have it. They are quick fixes and then are sent back to full duty. My day got better when I talked to Kaalan on the phone about the appliances that we are going to get for our new kitchen. It is very exciting. He is doing a wonderful job getting the plans for our kitchen together. Can you imagine having a better Christmas gift at the end of a long deployment? After a dinner of peanut butter and jelly and fruit (that was actually quite tasty)—ok, I also ate yummy green olives a cookie--I found a package from my mother on my desk. Hurray! I decorated my office with the fall leaf garland, battery operated light-up jack-o-lantern, and fall ribbon that she sent. I then decorated my room with pumpkin lights and read my new kitchen and bathroom magazine while I ate black and orange M&M’s (that were not melted into one big mush by God’s grace!). She sent me memories of home, a few necessities I asked her to get for me, and wonderful presents from Zach and Molly that they got me during their trip to Tibet. I then went to the gym to sweat the M&M calories out, took a shower, and am now in my chair. How can I not be content right now? God answers prayers for a calm spirit in such wonderful ways!