LT Doc

Day One-Hundred and Twenty-Nine

2006-12-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

22 December 2006
I am home!!!! Praise God for such a successful and safe deployment—the last one of the USS Saipan! We have manned the rails. We have heard the cheers from our loved ones. We have waited for the ship to be moored. Now I get to go find my amazing husband in the crowd! I am so thrilled to be home!

Day One Hundred Twenty-One

2006-12-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

13 December 2006
It is unfortunate that I have stopped writing as many entries as I used to. I guess I have had a hard time reflecting back on some of these mundane days as time goes by on this ship. I also have struggled quite a bit with my attitude. This GMO (general medical officer) life is getting to me, I think. Complaints about colds, minor joint pain, skin rashes, and paperwork for periodic health assessments, transfers, separations, retirements, special duty, etc. can get so old, boring, and very annoying. All I want to do is save a few lives, diagnose some real illnesses, and patch some people up! I have been looking so forward to residency to learn about and treat actual sick patients that I have lost track of where I am right now: I am making sure that the US sailors are in good health so they can do their jobs aboard this Naval vessel. When I take the time to focus on them, I find patience and even joy in all these people. Such personalities, backgrounds, and talents! I need to swallow my pride of being a “just” a GMO and thrive where I am at. Every morning I pray that God will give me patience and proper perspective of what I am doing. I know others are praying for me, too, and I can feel God’s hand on my life. I am such a blessed person! God has been gracious to remind me of this truth.

One blessing He also bestowed on me was a wonderful port visit to Greece. We “parked” in Piraeus and took the metro into Athens. Laura and I stayed two nights in a wonderful hotel next to the Temple of the Olympian Zeus, at the base of the Acropolis. We ate well and put some miles on our shoes as we spent a full day wandering around different ancient sites and going through the shopping district (Plaka). Of course, we loved hearing Greek spoken everywhere and looking at all the signs which are in a different alphabet. Greece is part of the EU so we used euros again (I used up what I had left from Italy—when we were headed to the gulf), and most signs were translated into English and almost everyone spoke English. Small pedestrian streets hosted hundreds of little stores and restaurants. The bakeries were full of baklava. Small storefronts sold everything one could imagine. Olive oil, olives, and Uzzo (a licorice type liquor rumored to contain heroin) were sold everywhere. Since the Olympics, the area of town we were in still seems to take on a very touristy feel. A lot of places seemed to have undergone a quick upgrade that does not seem to quite cover all the years of filth and being rundown. I am sure that it is quite an improvement, though, and I really enjoyed my visit to Athens. I look forward to returning and visiting the many numerous islands.

Day One-Hundred Twelve

2006-12-06T03:28:00.000-08:00

4 December 2006
This morning I set my alarm to wake me at 4am. The Broncos were playing Sunday Night Football and I needed to see how our new rookie quarterback was going to do. It ended up not being that great of a game—we had 5 turnovers and lost. Oh well, Seattle did not do that great either—Hassleback had a hard time putting plays together and Sean Alexander did not show off how good he really is. It was kind of fun, though, laying in bed, sipping coffee that I made in my little coffee pot, and watching the game with my Christmas lights giving a soft glow to my room. It was also cold (the temperature dropped dramatically has we headed north through the Red Sea yesterday and last night). I got to snuggle in my blankets like most people do in December.

The rest of the ship was busy at that crazy early hour. We had just entered the Suez Canal when the game was starting. During the game, I went out to take a lap on the flight deck and watch the sunrise. It was fridged! The cold air was shocking! It has been so long. Unfortunately, the sunrise was not the greatest—the air was a bit hazy. But as I peeked my head out all day between seeing patients, the haze disappeared and the horizon line sharpened up. The contrast between the tan sandy land, the blue sky, and the green water of the canal was beautiful. It was probably made all the more beautiful since the canal and its landscape is the passageway home—away from the tormented Gulf and toward the country we love. Ah, yes…it was nice to watch the land go by on such a glorious day. The air warmed a bit as the sun rose, but the winds picked up. The wind off the ship is funny. It makes my clothes sound like flapping flags and billows them up so that I look twice my size. Plus my hair would not stay out of my face no matter which way I stood, so I decided my pictures were going to have to be mostly Gretchen-less. It was a wonder to reach the end of the Suez shortly before dinner. The Mediterranean opened up before us, welcoming us to the Western world again—a world where this ship does not feel quite as despised and our guard can be lowered (but just a bit). The opening to the Med also was a symbol that we really are on our way home. There is no denying that now! I felt it in every sailor that I greeted today. The sunset over Egypt was brilliant and memorable. Now every sunset I see will be in front of the bow of the ship, which means we are headed west towards home! I am so excited!

Pinning!

2006-11-29T14:40:00.000-08:00

I have only a few more weeks to go until this deployment is over. Hurray! It is winding up and I will be home just in time to spend Christmas with Kaalan. I am so excited. I have been doing fine. I just was pinned as a Surface Warfare Medical/Dental Officer. In order to get this "qualification" and thus wear the pin designating me as such, I had to study for a while, go to different places on the ship, watch certain operational evolutions, and memorize a ton of Navy aviation/ship/weapons/engineering/damage control information.

All that hard work finally paying off!

I am then tested on this information by sitting for a "murder" board--several officers sit around and ask me various questions for an hour. I get my final qualification by sitting for the actual oral board--the CO, XO, and department heads asked me more questions (but only for a half hour this time. They figure I know most of the info if I did well on the murder board). I had this board this morning and got "pinned" at lunch. Good times! It is nice to have this done. I really enjoyed learning all the information by going to the numerous spaces around the ship. It is nice to know about the place where I have lived for the past four months (and worked for the past year and a half)! What Can Brown Do For You?

Day One Hundred One

2006-11-23T12:46:00.000-08:00

23 November 2006
Happy Thanksgiving! It was holiday routine on the ship today. I started my day at 0300 with a call from my corpsman (I had duty overnight). A sailor was suffering from a kidney stone. After squaring him away with an IV and pain medications I went back to sleep and did not wake until 0830. I could not believe that I had slept that long without waking to any bells and whistles.
We had a nice church service in the hanger bay and then had brunch. I took a short snoozer after I ate and then went to the flight deck for an all officers photo. The Turkey Trot was the next event—several people showed up. I was unable to run because my knees still hurt so I walked the trot. It was fun. I still got a great workout because the winds off the bow were about 30 knots. It was something! In the afternoon, I took some time to read one of my books called “Captivating” (which is wonderful).

Then came Thanksgiving dinner. It was incredible! Ham, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green been casserole, sweet potatoes, shrimp, fresh roles, lots of deserts, and more! So much food and it was all great!
After dinner I spent some time emailing and then had my Woman’s Bible Study. The study has been such a blessing to me. It has been so fun reading and studying the Bible with other ladies on the ship. I think a lot of them want to continue meeting when we return back to port which I would love. We are going to start a new study soon, and I am praying about which one to start.

So this Thanksgiving holiday on the Saipan was great. Lots of friends with whom to celebrate. It has ended too soon. I am currently waiting for a phone line to call Kaalan and hopefully reach some of my family. Kaalan is not working today (I think either he or I have had to work the past few years of Thanksgivings). He gets to have dinner with our friends Kelly and Nathan. Knowing Kelly, it was going to taste wonderful! One of these days, Kaalan and I will get to celebrate Thanksgiving together. Perhaps next year?

Day One Hundred

2006-11-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

22 November 2006
I have been out to sea and away from home for 100 days. Wow! It was a very nice day. It is getting cooler out. Highs are in the 80’s now and very tolerable. I had to run my PFA today. The Physical Fitness Assessment consists of sit-and-reach, sit-ups, push-ups, and a mile and a half run. I had to fast over lunch since we ran at 1300 (I did not feel like having a side stitch for the entire run). By that time, the sun was awfully hot; though, the air was not too bad.
I was a bit worried about the run. After going out for a run last Sunday (for all of ten seconds) my knee made me quit because it hurt so bad. This time, I took a Motrin and did fine (except my mouth was so dry because of the heat. I was a bit afraid of swallowing my tongue it was so sticky!). I am currently icing my knees and wondering how sore I am going to be tomorrow because of doing push-ups until my whole body was shaking (which made also me laugh and then I could not stay up any longer and I did a dramatic crash onto the mat). After a quick shower, I then gave my once-a-month cardiovascular health class. I have made all those who have high cholesterol come. The Navy’s new requirement is every sailor must have his or her cholesterol screened every 5 years. We have had to test many cholesterol levels this past year and a lot (perhaps one third) are elevated. Because of that, I implemented this cholesterol lecture (Thanks, Mom!) and then schedule those with really high levels and other cardiac risk factors to see me personally after attending the class. It has worked well. I had no idea that so many people did not have a clue about good and bad fats and cardiac risk factors. Thankfully, I grew up in a house in which a good diet was ingrained into my lifestyle (using butter is still very decadent and reserved for special occasions! Thanks, Mom!) Hopefully a couple of my sailors will think back to that lecture they had to attend and make healthy decisions in the future.

So, I did not include one event in my last entry that occurred during my time in Dubai. I still think and fret a little about it but am getting over it. During the second night at our hotel, I woke up around 0100 with my palms itching. Itchy palms! Yes! I could not believe it. I went to the bathroom, put lotion on my hands and went back to bed. They were still itching and burning a little. As I laid there, I realized that my lips did not feel right either. They also burned like they were really chapped and was made worse then I would rub my tongue across them. Weird, I thought. I must be in some sleepy haze where pain is ultra intensified. I tried to ignore everything until I realized my lips were actually larger than they ought to be. I got up and went to the bathroom again were I discovered Angelina Jolie lips as well as a chin that was solid as a board (it was taunt with fluid). I noticed, too, that I was itching my belly. I took a look and sure enough, I had a bright red rash all over my trunk with a few hives on my flanks. Wow, I thought. I had never had those! So this is how uncomfortable they are! Then, just after I discovered my bright red and itchy belly, my throat started itching. This is not good, I thought. Thankfully, I had Benadryl in my first aid kit that I carry in foreign ports. I took one and then sat on the floor (in my very nice and spacious bathroom) to see what my body was going to do next. Everything still itched including my head, my arms started developing the rash, and my lips grew a little larger. I could not believe that I was experiencing such a major allergic reaction! Over the next hour, I pondered on what the heck I been exposed to. I had never had such a reaction in my life! And if I had been exposed to something, why had it taken 4-5 hours to illicit a reaction (we had been back in the room around 2200)? I could not figure it out. I got up to reassess myself in the mirror. I adjusted my head to the light just so to take a look at my throat. So that is what felt so strange! My uvula (the hangy-down-thing in the back of your throat) had become twice its size. Crap! I thought. How much worse is this going to get? I wish that I had an EpiPen! I thought a little longer about taking another Benadryl (I was surprised the first one did not knock me out cold!) and could not decide…but then I realized that my tongue was beyond my front teeth. That is not where it usually sits in my mouth! Crap! I took the second Benadryl and sat on the floor again. This time I felt my pulse raising as I concentrated on figuring out if my air was going in and out of my lungs like it should. Yep! Except, it seemed a bit labored, but then again, I felt like I was about to start panicking. I did not want to go to the hospital in Dubai! I have plans tomorrow! I am the doctor on the ship. Doctors aren’t the ones who get sick and go to hospitals! I had to talk myself down and then started talking to God. The next hour I prayed and thanked God for my full life (and prayed my tongue would not get any larger). I also realized just how precious life can be and how easily my health and even life can disappear. I thanked God for them and was reminded to not take them for granted. I also learned that my patients who have the same reaction will need frequent reassurance and empathy. That I was now able to give. Such were my thoughts and prayers in my swollen, early morning, Benadryl stupor!

Several hours after it all began, my tongue returned to normal, my itching subsided, my hives were nearly gone, and my lips had not enlarged further. I decided to crawl back in bed. We were waking in a little less than two hours to call the ship to muster. I would check on my progress then. When we woke, I informed the girls of my situation. They did not have to hear much from me. One look at my face and listening to my voice, they knew I had something wrong. Apparently my uvula decided to continue to swell while I slept, so I had a “hot potato” voice. My lips were still rivaling Angelina’s. Thankfully, though, no itchy palms or belly! I kept trying to swallow my uvula and kept gagging on it whenever I talked. Yuck! My Benadryl controlled mind put me back to sleep again. I woke a few hours later and met the girls by the pool. My voice had returned to normal but the lips still were full (but luscious I should say). What an experience! I could not get myself to take another Benadryl because my head was still so cloudy, but I improved as the day went on. By lunch my lips were about normal and by late afternoon, I no longer felt the need to swallow my uvula. That allergic event is one that will haunt me because I will never know what I reacted to. Such a weird experience! But everything turned out fine, and I did not have to experience Dubai’s hospital (of all places I have been abroad, however, Dubai’s American Hospital would have been the one to be at). Now I have a dramatic story to tell and one to obsess a little about. What happened to me that night? I have just recently stopped going to bed thinking about waking with itchy palms; though, I am wary about eating anything that I had that previous day in Dubai. So the lessons I now carry away with me: 1. health is a gift not to forget about and 2. carry epinephrine in your first aid kit.

Portstop Pictures

2006-11-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of my recent time in Dubai:
Natives of the desert
Sunset on my "desert safari"
Indoor skiing and sledding. Can you imagine doing that in the desert?

Day Ninety-Seven

2006-11-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

19 November 2006
I cannot believe that I have allowed so much time to go by without an entry! I guess that it is good thing that time has been flying. This past week and a half has included two port stops which has definitely been a lot of fun and has aided to the time going by quickly.

We first got to try out our sea legs on land in Bahrain. It was just an overnight stop to drop equipment off, but we were able to have on-base liberty, which ended at midnight. How much I would have loved to go to one of those wonderful restaurants like the last time we were here, but I had no complaints about the base. It is so nice. Valerie and I went shopping in the NEX and commissary to restock up on essentials. For me the essentials included a few CD’s, Gatorade, coffee, granola bars, tape, and cards. I spent plenty of time wandering around looking at everything. I then ate a very yummy hamburger and fries in the food court (the burgers on the ship are just not worth the calories). After dinner, we went to the Officer’s Club. It consists of a large room with tables, a computerized jukebox, a pool table, and of course a bar. By the time Val and I got there, most of our fellow officers were fairly well lit up. It makes for some decent laughs for a while but then got a bit boring trying to have any sort of conversation with people who were acting pretty stupid. I never have to buy my own drinks in places like that because there are so few females and everyone wants to be nice and treat me to a drink. I am such a lightweight that can easily get a bit “lightheaded” and cross-eyed if I drink more than one and a half drinks. I have learned that after I drink my one very much anticipated beer, a second one has to stay in my hands at least half full or people will keep making sure I have something to drink. I like my fellow officers; they are kind even when drunk. Ha!

We then arrived to Jebel Ali a few days later. Jebel is in the United Arab Emirates and right next to Dubai. Talk about a bleak region of the world! It was flat, sandy, and had a few dusty bushes sticking out here and there. Everything was a shade of tan there just as it was in Bahrain. The weather was decent. I think around high 80s to mid 90s in the sun. Nothing intolerable. November is a very nice time to visit this region of the world. I celebrated my 31st birthday the day we arrived by staying at a wonderful hotel with Laura and Valerie. The Grand Hyatt is indeed grand and was absolutely lovely! The lobby was huge and stunning with marble and a lovely and outrageous chandelier. It had many restaurants and over priced stores in a huge “atrium” that had beautiful water pools and greenery. The hotel room had a huge bathroom complete with full sized tub and separate shower. We had plenty of room even with our 3 oversized twin beds with down comforters. Our window overlooked the immense grounds that included several pools, tennis courts, and running track. Beyond the hotel grounds, you could see Dubai creek that allowed the only large about of natural greenery that I had seen in the region growing along either side. Of course, Valerie and Laura did not let me pay for a thing for my birthday. We had drinks and salads in the lounge of that beautiful lobby and then had Lebanese food in a place called Atwar. We ate rich food out on the balcony of the hotel. We then went to get different deserts at a bakery located in the gardens of the atrium. I was spoiled. Who says that your birthday might be boring when you are on deployment?

I really did have such a great birthday. I was made to feel special starting the evening before when I call Mom and opened the packages she sent me. Wow! Such fun gifts from her and my siblings! Then the next morning, my corpsman sang to me in muster and three of them (my favorites—I really should not have favorites, but what can I say?) gave me a very sweet birthday card. I then called Kaalan and opened the huge box that he sent me while he was on the phone. Such fun things! I love that guy! Later, Valerie gave me a card all the pilots signed and another one of them, Tommy, gave me some little cakes to use as my birthday cake (he tried to find a candle but he said he got funny looks when he asked around. Fire and ships don’t really work well together apparently). Then my birthday concluded with an awesome time at the hotel. Such a special day!

Anyway, the next morning, we slept in without bells or whistles waking us. We found our way out to the pool and were greeted by an attendant who laid out a full sized towel on a cushiony lounge chair. I had lathered every square inch of my body with sunscreen so that I could lay out in the sun. It was glorious. I had not been exposes to the sun in so long! After about an hour of relaxing and reading I took a swim. The pool was perfect! The rest of the day I camped out in the shade of an umbrella. We had lunch delivered to our lounge chairs. Attendants brought ice-cold clothes for our heads and cool cucumbers for our eyes. Ha! We then went to the spa for our massages followed by a soak in the hot tub and short time in the sauna. Val and Laura also got facials and pedicures while I went out to spend some more time by the pool. Such a relaxing and restful day! We had another wonderful time eating cheese and drinking wine in the wine bar and ending the day with another great dinner at a different restaurant in the hotel.

We left the next day around noon to make it back to the ship to catch our “Sunset Safari” tour. It was a blast! We 4 wheeled with a guide in the sand dunes for about an hour as the sun set and then arrived in a camp where we smoked sheesha, ate dinner, watched belly dancing, lounged on cushions set on carpets that covered the ultra fine sand, road camels, received henna tattoos, and enjoyed the perfect evening weather. I had duty the next day and my corpsman were gracious enough to make lunch and dinner runs to the Oasis so that we could continue to take a break from the same ol’ ship food. The USO runs the Oasis. It consists of a group of buildings right off the pier that have Subway, Burger King, Starbucks, and many other small stores that surrounded a court yard filled with tables and chairs that support the many personel off Navy ships that stop at that port. I cannot remember much of what I did on my slow duty day except planning my shopping trip for the last day in Dubai. Laura, Val, Marty, left in the morning to find the Gold Souk. The souk contains tons of stores selling amazing jewelry—gold, pearls, jewels. The pieces were gorgeous! I wish that I had done a little homework on good prices for gold because I had to barter with every purchase. I am sure that I did not get too good of a price, but what can an ignorant American do? Surrounding the jewelry stores were tons of small booths and store fronts that had silk, wool, cashmere, hand crafts, and anything remotely Arabic for sale. Again, the Indian influence in the crafts was evident. I walked away with my credit card warm, my purse relieved of excessive Dirhams, and my backpack full. From the open market where you had to barter for everything, we went to one of the largest, most modern looking malls I had ever been in. It is called the Mall of the Emirates. This mall contained the famous indoor ski slope. Here we were in the middle of the desert and ski outfits were being sold! It was something! A lot of sailors went skiing just to say that they skied in the desert. Such an unbelievable structure! Again, I did a lot of purchasing thinking that this was my one day to do any type of Christmas shopping this year. We had such a fun time. We made our way back to the ship with arms laden with bags like most of the other sailors.

Dubai is such an interesting place! It seems like they have more money than they know what to do with. So many buildings are being constructed that even islands right off the coast are being built so that even more buildings can be constructed on them! When driving from Jebel to Dubai, there is a 4 lane highway with exits just like you would see in the US--gasoline station and fast-food joint and all (surrounded by nothing but sand). Suddenly you enter a forest of high rises in which at least half are topped with a huge crane while undergoing construction. The buildings are tall and each has very unique architecture. They are not huge—perhaps about 3 buildings would span an average city block. As we left one group of buildings we passed a ton of new looking town homes, tons of them. Then we entered another huge group of buildings. That seems to be all that makes up Dubai! I was told that a 1500 square meter area of Dubai has 75 hotels (a lot of them still under construction)! My grandmother told me that because of all the recent construction, Dubai has 15% of the world’s building cranes. It was a bit overwhelming to think that a city is just being built in the desert. The population of Dubai is 70% foreign. Many people speak English. Another odd experience was to climb in a cab and not have to haggle over the price! It is the first place I have been out of the US where the taxis have meters. Needless to say, I greatly enjoyed my time in Dubai. I cannot think of another reason why I would ever travel there. I feel so fortunate to get a taste of such a place!

I am now on the ship again. The day we left port we got the final verdict on our possible extension over Christmas. It was rejected so we are back to our original schedule. The cheers could be heard throughout the ship as the CO made the announcement over the 1MC. How nice to be home sooner. I am ready to see the sunset on the brow of the ship. That means we are heading the right direction to get home. I am very glad people will get to be home with their kids and families for Christmas. I am just ready to be home with Kaalan! Now we just bide our time. It is going to take a while to get home. Today I was struck by how far away we are when I looked at the map. It is amazing! I am so thankful for this experience, I have to admit. The time away from home is hard, but this is why I joined the Navy! We have 2 more brief Mediterranean stops and then the Atlantic…it is nice to have a hopefully stable schedule again!

Day Eighty-Three

2006-11-05T11:36:00.000-08:00

5 November 2006
It’s November! Wow! Time keeps rolling along. We are back to the same region to do mine sweeping demonstrations again. We have the huge helicopters back on our flight deck. I just cannot believe how big they are (and they are not even as large as the duel prop helicopters!). When they are stowed in the hanger bay or for high winds on the flight deck, they look like huge cockroaches. Ha! I was running on the flight deck again this evening during sunset, and the helicopter props just loomed over me. You feel like a shrimp.

The sunset was very nice. The air is slightly cooler this time around. The heat index only goes up to 102 or 104 F. I watched the full moon rise in the east—it started as a dull pink and then became a radiant yellow as it slowly rose. I could not run long enough to watch the moon turn into its normal white sphere with its face smiling its awkward smile at me. I will have to catch that smile later tonight.

Yesterday and today I have felt the heart twisting pain from being separated from my beloved husband. It seems like so many things lately has been reminded me of him. Today a guy played a song in church that Kaalan would often sing. I watched guys playing their guitars during a talent show yesterday and just pictured Kaalan playing his. I find that a lot of the conversations I have lately always have something to do with Kaalan—kitchen, dogs, medicine, home, travels, friends. I stare at his pictures longer. I reread his notes and emails. I constantly wonder what he is up to. I long to see him, touch him, watch his mouth move when he talks to me. I simply need to rest my heart in his arms. How amazing is Kaalan? He selflessly let me go on my way and serve my country without spreading any discouragement or guilt and with his full support. He does not even complain when I cannot tell him when I get to come home. Even though he has no problem letting me go, I know that he loves and misses me and longs for me to be home. How perfect is Kaalan? No other person on this ship even comes close to comparing to him. He fits me, heart and soul. He knows me so well that he can laugh at my idiosyncrasies and gently guide me down sane, non over-reactive decision-making paths. I used to feel so complete and independent before I married Kaalan. Now I do not know how I ever felt that way. I am so much more complete and confident with Kaalan as my companion. I still feel his support, love, and wisdom from so far away (thank God for email and satellite phones), but it is nothing like having him at arms length (or less, ha!). Eighty-three days is just too long. But I have more to go…I just look forward to Kaalan’s bag of gifts that he gave me as I was boarding this ship so long ago. One gift per week—I open one after he sends me an email telling me the significance of the gift. I have loved each one because they remind me how much Kaalan loves me, and they show me a small part of who he is. The bag is slowly emptying which is a very encouraging sign. When it is finally empty, I get to see Kaalan again. How happy will that day be!

God, thank you so very much for giving me such a companion and friend. Where would I ever be without him? He is perfect for this crazy emphatic soul of mine. Only you could have known what kind of husband I needed. Thank you for such a beloved gift! Amen.

My Space

2006-11-02T20:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, I do also have a MySpace account (which I cannot use while on the ship due to the high viral risk to the entire ship's network), but this post is just to show you all what my room (or space) looks like on the ship.

Day Seventy-Eight

2006-10-31T11:36:00.000-08:00

31 October 2006
It is Halloween! I never was really a big fan of this holiday, but I enjoyed a few of the festivities this day offers to a ship in need of a change of pace. Really, it was a day to let some of those with creativity out of their box. About ten departments took part in “door decorating,” and some went all out! I thought the medical department was the best (though I am sure that I am biased)! My corpsman were so creative (and the “door” ended up being an entire exam room). They used my light-up jack-o-lantern that Mom sent me, made blood out of red dye and filled IV’s and beakers. They used our exam ultraviolet light and a strobe light from a life vest to give the room and eerie glow. They used a CPR dummy to simulate a surgeon with mechanic’s tools working on a flat-lined patient covered with a sheet who had intestines hanging out (made from one of our plastic props we use when teaching first aid to sailors). Apparently our patient reached out and grabbed our surprised XO (executive officer)—one of our corpsman was brave enough to scare our XO! Good times. They did not come in first in the competition but was an honorable mention. The officers and chiefs also participated in reverse trick-or-treating. We got a ton of candy from MWR (moral, welfare, and recreation) and cruised around to different spaces on the ship handing out candy. Val and I dressed up as each other. We looked silly because she is about 3-4 inches taller than me so her coveralls did not even reach her ankles and the crotch in my flight suit was down to about my knees. It was funny! We had a good time roaming around the spaces saying hello to the sailors.

Day Seventy-Six

2006-10-29T11:57:00.000-08:00

29 October 2006
Today has been a nice duty Sunday. Church was good. Brunch was good. I relaxed all afternoon so that I can stay up late tonight. I ran on the flight deck for the first time since the weather had turned hot many weeks ago and watched a beautiful sunset while I ran (and walked for most of it—those darn side-aches!). I then ate dried fruit and nuts and a Tai rice noodle bowl (which I bought from Trader Joe’s before I left home) while I watched Cars on TV. Funny movie! I am now watching football (Atlanta and Cincinnati) waiting for the Broncos to come on. I think it will now be about midnight since daylight savings was this weekend in the states. That is why I am staying up late tonight. It will be fun to watch—worth tomorrow’s sleepiness!

This week, we ended up leaving our prior tasking at night to head to another area of the gulf due to terrorist threats on other oilrigs (the whole story was apparently in the press this past Friday). Val and I were watching some Scrubs episodes when our captain came over the 1MC that night to tell us the new plan. We were both very surprised and praised God that we were a pilot and a doctor so that we could continue our Scrub’s watching and not rush around to completely change plans and get the ship moving again. Lots of work! Tonight the captain came over the 1MC again. I was transiting the p-ways (aka passage way/hallway) to go to the wardroom to get ice for my knee (it is not a big fan of running on steal, but sometimes it doesn’t get the choice) and many people were hanging out of their rooms and offices to listen to him. Was this finally the news we have all been waiting for? Are we going to be extended or not? He ended up not having any new information on our schedule. Here’s to waiting some more! Today might be our second halfway point, but no one is celebrating. Ha!

Day Seventy

2006-10-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

23 October 2006
I have just finished seeing my last patient of the afternoon. Unfortunately I had one of those I-must-be-speaking-Chinese days. Really, it was fairly funny, but so unfortunate that some people can just be so dense. I wonder if I will ever get used to that?

We are currently anchored in a very particular and vital region right now. It was eerie when we anchored at sea yesterday—no sense of movement and the ship noises changed. I had to go topside to see what was going on. It was quite a different view than the usual deep blue ocean that you can see for miles without interruption. Unfortunately I cannot talk much about it just yet. It is very interesting, though. Thankfully, the weather has cooled so is not near as intolerable as it was last time; though, we have some pesky flies on the flight deck!

Yesterday, I was hit with the fact that I still have several months to go out here! Yikes! Very often I try to not think about it at all or else I hyperventilate, eat junk food, and watch DVD’s to forget. I try very hard to keep a lid on that box of emotions. It just is not worth it to even peak inside!

We have had mail call several times today because a helo dropped off 3 tons of mail! I received a delightful package from my grandma and grandpa! It reminded me of college. Right before finals, they would load up a huge box full of fun foods and mail it to help me study. It was such a great! Here I am in another situation where they get to do the same thing. How loved am I!? I am currently listening to Mozart. A CD came with a box of chocolates they gave me. How did they know that I needed some more classical music? I did not download near enough classical before I left! It helps me relax and keeps me focused while I study or type these entries.

Kaalan has been working very hard on our kitchen—I am so excited. We recently have been trying to pick the right color granite and wall paint. It is interesting trying to do that on the internet. First of all, it moves so slowly that “surfing” only a few sites takes about two hours (I have to do something else--read, watch a movie--while the images load). Second, I never really know the true color of anything, so when I get home I will still have a huge surprise waiting for me. Thankfully, I believe Kaalan has good taste (and female friends in our care group to give him their opinions) so will be able to make good decisions on colors. But really, Kaalan and I have never done anything like this before, so I do not really know what to expect. That is a fun thing about marriage—I am still learning about who I married!

Day Sixty-Six

2006-10-19T13:51:00.000-07:00

19 October 2006
Today marks the halfway point of this deployment. A while ago I had looked forward to this day with great anticipation. Now that today has arrived, it was approached by most people with a half smirk and a “let’s hope.” The wardroom attempted a celebration with a special dinner consisting of steak, fried shrimp, crab legs, corn, mashed potatoes, and whole table of ice cream and other deserts (all very yummy!). The workers also dimmed the lights and put a few red chem sticks (chemical lights) in glasses to act as candles. It was very cute and a nice touch to celebrate. If we get extended until January, we will just be able to celebrate another halfway point and know that it is for real! Also, I am probably the only one on the ship whose current problems will be non-issues if I have to stay out here, so an extension actually works in my favor a little bit. I am bound and determined to be optimistic, aren’t I? Ha!

Tonight was the second round of the great dodge ball league. Unfortunately I was not able to play with my team, the Purple Cobra’s, because I was leading Bible Study (which has been so great since we started at the beginning of deployment). It all started on Monday, we lost in the first round of the tournament but had a kick anyway. The Purple Cobras was started by my friend, Zach a.k.a. SWOVIATOR (funny name to us here because he is an aviator stuck with a ship job that Surface Warfare Officers, SWO, do). His goal was to stimulate trash talk in order to get people to get teams together. The purple outfits and ridiculous hissing noise (see the movie Dodge Ball if you are unfamiliar with the Purple Cobra chant) paid off so now there are twenty or so teams throwing balls at each other. Good times! It definitely gets people laughing which is what we all need. I laughed hysterically, too. Such experiences I get on this ship!

Day Sixty-Five

2006-10-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

18 October 2006
The Saipan Daily Update is on TV right now. It is a daily news show that the communication team on our ship puts together and broadcasts to the ship (on “site” TV). It is just like a 5-10 minute show directed to our ship community. It is very cute and well done. The “journalists” tell us about our local weather, highlights in news around the world (Hawaii had an earthquake?), sports update (has hockey season really started?), an update of Navy operational news (anthrax vaccine is again mandatory for certain areas of the world such as the one I am in—hopefully, I might be able to just miss that mandatory date!), the “hot-runner” of the day (enlisted person who is elected to the title because of good work), and one journalist goes to a different “space” on the ship and interviews those who work there. Anyway, it is a good show.

The past few days have been busy with routine things. We are moving through cooler waters, which is a nice relief, on our way to warm waters again. We will be quite busy with our next tasking. I am off to work out now!

Oct 15

2006-10-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Happy 29th Birthday Saipan!

Day Sixty-One

2006-10-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

14 October 2006
I am sitting in my room listening to the gentle sound of the ocean, wet with sweat after a much needed workout, and full from eating my dinner of nuts and dried fruit. Let me now explain that odd first sentence.

One of my corpsman had told me that the best TV show ever is “Lost.” I decided to borrow his first season discs and have been quite addicted to the story ever since. The menu on disc 5 has an ocean scene with the sound of gentle waves rolling in and out. It is so relaxing that I have been letting it play continually for quite sometime now! If I close my eyes, shut out the hum of the ship, and listen to the waves, I feel transported to the beaches of California. I can almost feel the warm sun on my skin and the cool breeze off the water blowing through my hair…Ah, yes. Such a nice place to be for a bit!

I have not worked out as faithfully as I should (such is the mantra of many a person, I realize). My stress has build up (and was pushed over the edge yesterday) thus I finally had a much-needed work out. A medical emergency called away yesterday, when a hatch covering a ladder well (stairs) fell closed on a girl’s head as she went through. She did not loose consciousness, but was obviously in a lot of pain when she was carried into our ER on a stretcher. It happened to be one of my girls from Bible Study—a very cute and kind Californian. She had pain all along her right neck and head and had a cut on her head that was bleeding away. The worst part about all her injuries was the blood coming out her right ear. Never a good sign. Our x-rays did not show any gross abnormalities but we could not clear her c-spine (aka could not be certain that her neck did not have any breaks or other injuries). Clinically we diagnosed a basilar skull fracture. We have kept her comfortable on pain meds and valium while she lays in bed with a huge cervical collar around her neck waiting to get close enough to a land-based medical facility to do a CT scan and then transport to higher echelon of care (likely Germany). Bless her heart. She is stable and is doing quite well. That discomforting blood and cervical-spinal fluid has stopped leaking, too, and she has remains quite oriented, even telling our XO (executive officer) that she does not want to go home but recover on the ship. Anyway, the whole ordeal was a bit stressful which included three doctors not communicating well: SMO stressing out like usual, surgeon not wanting to take an active role in anything, me very edgy because a sailor I know is terribly hurt and I have never taken care of anything like that before (especially without a CT). But everything worked out well for both the patient and the doctors. I learned much better about communicating what I need with my fellow trauma-trained surgeon, who understands now that he needs to take more active roles in trauma situations. Also, I always wondered what I would be like when my patient is someone I care about and not just some sailor I have never seen before. It is a bit different. I grew more edgy and impatient. I will keep that in mind for next time (which I pray will never happen). Anyway, thus the tremendous need for my sweaty stress release today.

And, nuts and dried fruit for dinner? I missed dinner because I went and worked out during the serving time (1600-1730). The gym tends to empty out a little during dinner, so it is actually a good time to be there. I don’t have to lift my 5 lb dumb bells next to a guy with arms as big as my waist who is lifting 90 lb dumb bells (one in each hand!). You can also position yourself in front of a fan, which saves my head from getting so red with heat that I think that it is going to explode! But what made my dinner of nuts and fruit taste great is that while I ate, I was reading stories in Outside Magazine about mountaineering. Dried fruit and nuts tastes so good when you are outside expending energy to reach beautiful summits and extraordinary views (again, I let myself be transported)! Really, I am quite satisfied and content with my meal!

It is nice to feel content when October keeps trudging along. Apparently, our schedule keeps changing so I will look forward to being on land as soon as I see my shipmates leaving the ship and walking on it. Until then, I am water and steal bound and will continue to try to make the most of it. Sunday is another workday, so Monday will be our “day of rest.” However, tomorrow is also a happy day for many which is exciting to hear around the ship. Tomorrow, we are going to receive a ton (literally) of mail! That will encourage many. Well, I am now off to shower and watch Band of Brothers in the ward room (we have been watching two episodes every Sat). It is a fabulous series, and it is just as good the second time as it was the first time I watched it. I will also complete my dinner with a whole lot of popcorn!

Taisia Taraschuk

2006-10-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Brigitte and Andrei! Taisia was born 9 Oct weighing 6lb 4oz and is 19in long!

What a lovely little family!

Day Fifty-Seven

2006-10-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

10 October 2006
Ah, another October day during hump month of this cruise. Joy, joy…If you had asked me at the start of the cruise if I thought I would eventually feel like I was in “ground-hog day,” I would have said I could keep myself from that feeling like that. However, lately I have had to look at my watch several times so see what day of the week it was. Is it really just Tuesday? What do I do on Tuesdays? Oh, yes. Sick call in the morning, lunch, and 14 sailors in the afternoon needing their yearly Physical Health Assessment paperwork completed. What day is tomorrow? Oh, Wednesday. Do I have anything special on Wednesday? Oh, sick call and then, hum, do I have any follow-up appointments in the afternoon? I might have forgotten to track anyone down to have forced cholesterol counseling…And the same thing happens everyday and every week. It is a strange feeling, this repetition and loss of sense of time (other than knowing it seems to be going slow).

Anyway, today had a small disruption by having some business executives from the US visit to see what this big Navy ship does. They also had the higher up officers stationed in East Africa traveling with them (acting like very special and high ranking tour guides). I was chosen as one of the escorts (my friend Zach, who was an escort also, said we were chosen because we are part of the beautiful people of the ship—I laughed and then realized we were called “escorts!”). We ate and conversed with our many guests at a sit-down-and-be-served three-course lunch in our wardroom. We then accompanied everyone for a tour of the ship. At lunch, I sat across from one of the visiting officers and had a wonderful conversation about their mission in helping teach/aid national, especially maritime, security in Eastern African countries and coastal trade routes. This officer gave me wonderful insight into some of the countries--the poverty, the governmental corruption, the tribal conflicts, the “wickedness, to use an Old Testament term,” he said. He stated that good work was getting accomplished through partnerships and told me about how our engineers work with USAID to revamp schools and clinics. It made me very excited to know what is going on and encouraged my heart in what God might have waiting for me in the future. My heart longs to help make positive changes in such devastated countries! I do not know what that will look like in the future, but I am so very excited to take the steps to get there.

I trust that this hot cruise and stint in the Navy is one of those steps (as I had hoped it would be so long ago when I was commissioned as an officer). Because of this trust, I am going to try very hard to not get caught in my personal ground-hog day. It is going to be difficult to get through October, I have to admit. I think I already gained a few pounds since the first of October and tears have been shed. I have tuned out this repetitive reality by sitting in front of Hollywood realities (yes, that is an oxymoron). I am sure I will have several days of shutting myself in my room with DVD’s, being uncaring toward patients, eating junk food. But I know that I will get through October. It is odd to view October that way, isn’t it? Usually, October is one of my favorite months of the year. The weather is often beautiful, the air so fresh! But it is a bit different this year. Instead, I find myself on a ship in very hot weather, no land in sight, unknown dangers lurking in every dhow we see, port-stops cancelled until sometime in November, and a possible extension to our deployment that would keep us from being home until mid-January. That is October, and I will get through it by only looking up…

And even when I was not looking up for strength, God still blessed me today. He reminded me that he is in control, that this military is making very good changes in the world, that I can make a difference in a person’s health, that he will calm my impatience with complaining patients and then help me encourage them instead of blowing them off, that my mountains still exist and will be waiting for me and my backpack, and that my husband loves me enough to waste his time by traveling a long distance just to get my favorite trail mix. God did all those things for me today. Another thing he did was making me laugh with the strange occurrences on this ship. A bunch of sailors from the same birthing space were complaining of strange looking itchy rash on their arms that looked like insect bites. Well, that is one thing that usually one need not worry about in the middle of an ocean. My corpsman went and investigated and found a small flat bug under a mattress. With a little Googling, we found that the pest freaking out our male sailors was a bed bug! Ha! My chaplain said that after he prayed tonight over the 1MC (intercom) like he does every night at 2200, he was going to add, “Good night, goodnight, don’t let the bedbugs bite. If they do, take a shoe and beat them until they’re black and blue.” God successfully cheered up my heart today!

Day Fifty-Six

2006-10-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

9 October 2006
Tonight (or every early this morning) it hit me that serving my country costs. It has cost me and the people that I love. I guess that all this time, I have not had to deal with the cost; rather, I have not thought of the cost and have seen this time as a grand adventure (though that thought tends to be rapidly dissipating). I have felt sorry for those around me that have struggled missing their child’s baseball game, first day of school, or birthday. I have felt sorry for those who struggle because they are not there to help their spouse with bills and house problems. But I felt lucky, no children and a husband who is quite capable in handling anything that comes his way while I am gone (including a broken washing machine--he has to not only do his own laundry but take it to a laundry mat!). I have been able to suppress the cost to me and to those I love. I cannot call to say hi anytime I think about it. I cannot meet a friend for breakfast and talk about life. I cannot bring flowers and a hug to neighbors who have lost their husbands to cancer and a failed marriage. I cannot make my care group brownies or make my house homey with fall decorations and candles for Kaalan. I cannot be home to encourage Kaalan when he comes home tired. I do not know when someone wants or needs to talk because I am not as easy as a phone call away. And what finally hit me hard was that I missed a dear friend’s wedding! I am supposed to be in those pictures. I am supposed to know first hand how beautiful and happy she was! I am supposed to have witnessed her vows and promised to be there for her in her marriage! The cost hurts tonight. I want so badly to not miss important and small events. I have often felt like life is on pause until I return home. But I realize--it is not paused. It keeps going without me. I cannot be there to live life with those I love and care about. I cannot be there to help those that I love. Now I know the cost. How I know how most people feel on this ship. I know what people might feel since I left. I realize that this deployment is short in the grand scheme of things, but here in the middle of it, it feels like forever. And I feel so bad for those for whom I cannot be available. The cost for serving is a cost all those I care for have to bear. May I then serve well here, since I cannot serve at home. May all forgive me for being gone.

Day Fifty-Three

2006-10-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

6 October 2006
The last few days have been pretty busy! Yesterday morning we had a CONREP (connected replenishment) with a supply ship. We received about 40 pallets of various supplies including IV fluid, ice cream, and lettuce. They were sent from the other ship via span wire. Waiting on our ship were the forklifts and a long line of sailors waiting to carry the stuff to the correct supply hold. A helo also did a VERTREP (vertical replenishment), which entails the helo picking up a pallet suspended from a long cord and depositing it on the deck of our ship. It was all quite the production! It is nice, though, because last night we had fresh broccoli and yummy bananas. You have got to love replenishment!

Later yesterday afternoon, we were informed that a sailor had been injured on another ship and was en-route to us for immediate treatment. Apparently the corpsman on the other ship was very concerned about him because when we received the gentleman it looked like first aid was done on the walk to the helo—a splint, an IV, and blood everywhere! The sailor was in pretty bad shape and the other ship obviously did not have the means to take care of him like we do (plus we were not that far away). The guy had abrasions and lacerations many places, was yelling that he wanted water to drink and repeatedly asked if he had all his fingers. He had a very large laceration on the top of his head, a very large contusion over his right rib cage and right shoulder, a splint on his left arm, and several other smaller lacerations and contusions. He ended up having a depressed skull fracture and thankfully nothing else. We sewed him up (great opportunities for our corpsman) and calmed him down a bit. However, he continued to remain a bit confused. He also spiked a fever later yesterday evening and we threw all the different IV antibiotics we had for broad coverage against developing meningitis. He was picked up by a surgeon who came on a shore-based Marine helo this morning (one of the docs who came with the surgeon was a guy who did internship with me at Portsmouth—it was nice to see a familiar face). The sailor will then most likely be transferred to a plane and be brought to a neurosurgeon’s OR in Europe by the end of the day. Poor kid. We never did get the whole story of what happened to him—he had a set of odd injuries so you have got to wonder…He definitely is not going to remember.

Day Fifty

2006-10-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

3 October 2006

I am sitting again in my chair with my laptop on my lap (apparently, that was where it was made to go), listening to “Sea Music” (a CD Caleb put together for me before I left on deployment), and relishing my solitude in my stateroom. I have been a bit discontented and restless the last few days and have been fervently praying for calm and contentment. I guess that is what happens when you are just about to reach midpoint of a deployment but aren’t there just yet. Sick-call has been filled with people who are not really sick. They just have some discomfort here and there. Everyone in the medical department has been rubbing their ears saying “woosaw” to relax. Ha! Things really have not been that bad, really (most of you realize that I tend to exaggerate when I feel emphatic about certain things—don’t worry, I do not change when I write. Ha!). We had some excitement when we found out that a British sailor had symptoms of appendicitis and needed medical help. Unfortunately, I did not fly to get him (yes, I was very disappointed, I was ready to go. That burst of adrenaline is like crack. How I need more of it once I have tasted it!). He had to come a long way so another helo brought him to us in the evening, and he was sent to the operating room a little less than an hour after he got here. Unfortunately, his appendix had had it prior to getting to us and decided to rupture. The guy did really well, though, and was up walking around his strange environment the next day (today). He then got a helo ride to land so that he can receive all the antibiotics he needs and can get further help should he develop some complications (like an abscess forming in his belly from having nasty stuff all in it). So now we are back to the routine, praying that we might be able to help someone else and I can ride a helo again!
Today was busy in its routine. A medical emergency shook things up. Thankfully it was nothing major--just a girl that decided to hyperventilate at the end of a work out in the heat. Apparently this is not new to her. She is the second girl that I have seen this happen to several times. It is a bit bazaar to me, but there you have it. They are quick fixes and then are sent back to full duty. My day got better when I talked to Kaalan on the phone about the appliances that we are going to get for our new kitchen. It is very exciting. He is doing a wonderful job getting the plans for our kitchen together. Can you imagine having a better Christmas gift at the end of a long deployment? After a dinner of peanut butter and jelly and fruit (that was actually quite tasty)—ok, I also ate yummy green olives a cookie--I found a package from my mother on my desk. Hurray! I decorated my office with the fall leaf garland, battery operated light-up jack-o-lantern, and fall ribbon that she sent. I then decorated my room with pumpkin lights and read my new kitchen and bathroom magazine while I ate black and orange M&M’s (that were not melted into one big mush by God’s grace!). She sent me memories of home, a few necessities I asked her to get for me, and wonderful presents from Zach and Molly that they got me during their trip to Tibet. I then went to the gym to sweat the M&M calories out, took a shower, and am now in my chair. How can I not be content right now? God answers prayers for a calm spirit in such wonderful ways!

Day Forty-Six

2006-09-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

29 September 2006

This is a picture from 2004, the last time I flew on a helicopter - bringing medical supplies into a remote village in Honduras with my husband during medical school.

I just came down from the O8 level, enjoying the end of the sunset after dinner. It was wonderful tonight. The weather is so much cooler now. I actually had my sleeves rolled down all day and had those cold doctor hands again. I love it! Outside tonight, the breeze was soft from the humidity and cool. The sliver of moon lit up the water but I could still see stars. The constellation Orion is out right now and it is a nice reminder of home. It is a blessing to have something familiar in a foreign part of the world!

I had a wonderful experience yesterday that I really needed because I was fighting against the humdrum of ship life. In the afternoon, right when I was going to start studying (Thursday’s afternoons are my days to study ship-board info and to prepare for my Bible studies in the evening), I was told that I needed to go up to Flight Deck Triage to catch a helicopter to pick up a patient. Apparently, our ship was called by a smaller Navy ship that was nearby to get help with a gentleman who was having chest pain with symptoms suggestive of a heart attack. The smaller ships do not have doctors but have a few corpsman and a specially trained corpsman call an Independent Duty Corpsman (IDC). They also do not have very many resources including a full EKG machine. Therefore, I donned my little green life vest, put on a flight helmet, grabbed a few monitors and medications from medical, ran to my room for an overnight bag (you just never know where you are going to end up), and waved at Valerie in the pilot’s chair as I entered her helo. I had one of the nurses with me (who happens to be an x-Navy Seal—you just do not feel the need to have any fears when you are with him), and we had about a 20-30 minute ride to the other ship. It was great. When we got there, the IDC had the patient all squared away on a backboard with bags packed. All we had to do was clarify a few things and return to the helo. The patient was stable and just needed some monitoring and pain meds while we flew back. Good times! The patent ended up not having any cardiac issues, thankfully, and will be released from the ward tomorrow. He gets to stay with us for a while, at least until we are close enough to his ship again to transport him back. Many people asked me how my flight was when I returned, and I am sure I was glowing. It is times like this that I really feel like a Navy officer. I like that.

Now I am all set to hopefully fly some more. There are not many land-based medical facilities where we are, so we might have more patients from other ships that need some assistance. I was ordered a flight suit and I am going to put a medical bag together. Thanks be to God for safety flying, an improving patient, and a bit of excitement in a rather humdrum time on board ship!

Day Forty-Four

2006-09-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

27 September 2006
As we are moving through the ocean, the familiar creaking of the ship, gentle rocking, and even cooler weather has come back. Hurray! We are now on to our next mission (which I know virtually nothing of. What need does a doctor have to know such things?). Times in medical have been steady, thankfully nothing bad. Currently I am watching the news--waiting with baited breath to find out if Terrell Owens tried to kill himself or not and unfortunately watching a beautiful valley in CO (that I have driven through innumerable times) from a news helicopter. Such an unfortunate event as a “shooter” in a school. How terrible! And then there is the news in Iraq…the reporters just said that politicians cannot come up with any improved solutions because of the upcoming elections. Also terrible! And just what are we to do with a “holy” war?

Anyway, oh, here is TO. How exciting. He is thanking God now. He is just where he wants to be, eh? Making live news. So that is a little snippet of my life. Sitting in my room on my nice chair, typing away with the news on. I really ought to be going to bed now. I have been trying to go to bed earlier, but it is amazing how I can find things to do to putz around my little room. Not too much different than home (just much smaller). Ha!

2006-09-25T13:02:00.001-07:00

Day Forty-One

2006-09-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

24 September 2006

(great fruit drinks)

I had a very relaxing Sunday. I was not on duty so I slept in (as much as one could with all the bells and announcements pertaining to leaving port early this morning), ate my usual omelet for brunch, e-mailed, wow what else…I cannot really remember. I also worked out while listening to Brahms’s Requiem and reading CS Lewis’s Screwtape Letters. I got made fun of by my friend Bos’n for it (he seems to catch me every single time I read while doing my workout), but I tell him I just get too bored. I have to ride the bike since I like to read. We recently got new elliptical machines, but I do not like the new ones very much anyway.

I had a wonderful 2 days in Bahrain. It is the first Arab country I have ever gone to. It was a good experience. The colors seemed to be every shade of tan. Tan with white, tan with red, tan with yellow…The city was quite modern with a lot of new construction (especially of modern shaped buildings). Bahrain is quite a wealthy place that imports a ton of Pakistani, Indian, and Thai people to do a lot of the physical labor type jobs. Because of this, a lot of the smells, fabric colors, and handcrafts reminded me of what I had seen in India. There is not much vegetation at all. You could see a few young palm trees outside various buildings. The trees themselves even took on a shade of tan because of all the dust in the air. There were several large beautiful Mosques and occasionally you could hear the call to prayer. Walking around, at least half the men were in the traditional long white robe with head coverings in white, red, or blue colors. Only about half of the women were in traditional black robes with covered faces. But more often than not, the black fabric would have beautiful sequin patterns.
(so decadent)

(Pat and Valerie)

I got off the ship in mid-afternoon and went to the apartment complex where the Navy pilots live when they are on their 6-month deployment. There were rooms and beds for every one of the pilots that are currently on board the Saipan. I was lucky and got to tag along with the one female pilot from our ship (who also happens to live across the hall from me right now and is a wonderful person who has been so much fun to get to know). Since there are not any females living in the apartments right now, we were given a huge apartment all to ourselves. It was beautiful! All furnished, several bathrooms, two rooms, and view that overlooked the water. We were in shock that we got to stay there and it was all free! We then went out to the gold souk and market (that again reminded me of the markets I saw in India—small shops, side-by-side, open to a narrow street so every space is filled with things for sale). It was fun. We then ate at a lovely restaurant where I indulged in wonderful food. After that we found ourselves at Casa Blu. We listened to a wonderful Arabic guitarist/singer while we ate chocolate fondue and smoked apple shisha (on a hucka). All the men would join in singing on occasionally and clap out different beats (the clapping reminded us a lot of the flamenco music we experienced in Spain—the connection was becoming more clear to us). We then swam in the pool on the top floor of the apartment complex. I then took a long shower (without shower shoes and without turning the water up and down to save water. I have a great appreciation for non-ship board showers. Ha!). Valerie and I used the pedicure kit Brigitte sent with me, ate pancakes for breakfast, and drank coffee and juice after waking up in our own real-sized bed from which we had a view of the water. Rough, eh? We then returned to the ship to drop off our stuff and pick up another pilot that was just getting off duty. We had a superb lunch complete with lovely chocolate deserts and fresh fruit juices. After lounging around in the apartment during the hot afternoon, Valerie and I went to a rug flop that was sponsored by officers on base in Bahrain. For a party that was basically required for most Saipan officers to attend, it was fun and they had good food. The rugs the vender showed were beautiful but over priced. Valerie and I returned to the Navy base where we played a game of pool in the Officer’s Club and then went to listen to the last few songs of band that was playing in the outdoor amphitheater on base. It was fairly crazy there…a lot of drunk sailors. Val and I stood out like sore thumbs for some reason. When we stopped to listen the entire band acknowledged our existence and so everyone in the crowd looked over to see who they were waving at. Then a horde of drunk sweaty chiefs (high ranking enlisted) dragged me onto the dance floor for a moshing session to Nirvana. They all took great pride in making sure I was very well protected from the crowd while I jumped around with them. It was something…they loved having their female doc out there with them. Ha! I then told Val we needed to go to the back so that we would not draw any more attention but suddenly found a young blondie’s face in my ear asking what my name was. We got to the back and one of our girl’s in our Bible study (who Val and I have been encouraging in the lifestyle and spiritual changes she was making) came over to apologize for being drunk; though, we were both much more concerned about her being too familiar with a guy from the ship (he is the last thing she needs right now). The band ended and the guitarist then came and sat with us. He was a very friendly chap from Whales that did not think I could be old enough to be a doctor. After our fill of getting too much attention, we went back to the ship contented and ready for another long stint without walking on land.

(Valerie making pancakes)

(a wonderful morning)

The day and a half we were gone was great. Valerie was fun to be with. She was also great to travel around with because she had been in Bahrain for a few months last year so knew where to go and how to haggle. She was especially good at getting decent prices for taxies. They sure did want to charge way too much! We were lucky with transportation several times--we found ourselves in the right place at the right time for getting free rides from people. Once an officer heard we were needing a taxi to the base and took us there himself. Our conversation with “Mad Turk” was funny and gave us a very brief history of the Arabic world. Then some young sailors invited us to ride with a duty driver they to the ship instead of waiting for the bus in the heat. They asked us our rate (rate is what enlisted personal go by—it is their job (i.e. HM is “hospital man” aka corpsman). They were a little surprised to know they were carting around two officers, but we were thrilled that they thought us to be so young! Another time Val asked a very handsome, American looking sailor where we could get a taxi. He said that his duty driver would take us wherever we needed. Apparently he was a captain on one of the ships in port. We definitely got hooked up our entire time on liberty which made our time so special. We knew we had been blessed.

So that is Bahrain…We go now into the bright blue for our next mission before our next port! Ship life continues on…
(rug flop)

Day Thirty-Seven

2006-09-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

20 September 2006
So, I miss my husband who has been MIA for a week at a conference. No email and he had his phone off (that or he forgot to bring his charger). I have felt so isolated--like I am halfway around the world in the middle of a hot ocean on an island filled with whiney people all surrounded by steal walls. Oh, wait, that is my reality! Ha! We were supposed to pull into port today and start my 2 day sabbatical off the ship, but alas. Here we are. Anchored off the coast, looking at an area that has wonderful restaurants with yummy food. It was painful dragging myself to dinner and could only get myself to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an unripe pear. The food being served, when you had been dreaming of steak perfectly grilled or fresh spicy sushi, looked absolutely terrible. I then proceeded to eat a milky way (the whole thing) while I sat in my stateroom and watched a movie…
Medical has been interesting (or not so much recently). Would you believe a girl came to medical (to see a doctor) because of ear pain that was caused by a zit near the entrance to her canal? I told her she will be fine in a couple of days with some warm compresses and she looked at me like I spoke Chinese. Are you sure that I don't have an ear infection? You know I got them quite often when I was young. (She says to me) No everything looks perfect except that small zit. (blank look like I was speaking Chinese) Are you sure that I do not need any medication? Nope, just come back in a couple of days if things get worse. Well, what are you going to do when things get worse and I come back? It will not get worse--Ok then you can leave... I wanted to die. Of course that was only about a fourth of the conversation we had regarding the zit in her ear and it was, I am sure, about the same conversation the corpsman had with her earlier before she brought her to me. I looked at my corpsman and asked if I was speaking in Chinese. Did God suddenly bless me with knowing a foreign language? Here is another: I had a wonderful girl yesterday that you would have thought was dying. For all of her amazing show of ultimate sickness, all she had was some sore muscles from doing some heavy lifting the day prior. I was (sadly to confess) pressing on her lightly just to get her to make excessive pain noises (it did not take long to make the diagnosis). When I finally thought I was going to break down into full hysterics and bring my corpsman (who had the chart up covering her mouth) down with me, I firmly told the girl to be quiet and stop making those unnecessary noises. You could not find any empathy in that room at that time even if you had a high tech detector. Sometimes I scare myself. When I told the girl she was fine, I again got that you-just-spoke-Chinese look. Then she said she had chills too and shook and then held herself like she was freezing (it was so convincing—yeah right). Last time I felt this way I had a viral illness and another time I had a kidney problem, she says. Are you having any changes with peeing, I asked. No. I think that some ice packs and Motrin will make you feel a bit better and in a few days you should be 100%. Again, the blank look. Ok then, have a good evening and when you have medical issues come back during sick call. (I had seen her twice in the evenings, apparently she get bored and needs some attention then). Blank look. Then I left. I wanted to die--again. So, that is what your friend is becoming, a prodder just to hear silly noises from drama queens. I feel so proud! I seriously have got to start recording myself to see if I speak another language. I am so interested in what people are hearing. And these are just two examples. The list can go on and I just shake my head in wonder...

Day Thirty-Five

2006-09-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

18 September 2006
Here is a little schematic of my little floating home. This was taken recently. We have several boats that do various things that we keep inside our “well deck” (another very large space that is underneath the “hanger bay”). The LCU’s actually have their own crew that lives on them while they are inside the ship. Can you imaging living on a boat inside a boat? Strange concept. They have a crew of about 20-30 members and about 6 people live in a space the size of my stateroom. Forget about reading in bed—you can only lie down on those racks. This week we are winding down one aspect of our mission out here. We will then have a port stop (hopefully I can get a night off the ship with a larger bed and no bells going off every half hour and 1MC announcements disrupting my sleeping in on my day off). I am excited to see another aspect of the world!

Day Thirty-Three

2006-09-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

16 September 2006
Today was the first day I went outside all week. Can you believe it? For one who loves to be outside, I was perfectly content to stay inside. Can you guess why? It is HOT. The ship has become a nice refuge from the heat, though it does continue to stay fairly warm inside. I went outside after lunch to let the captain show me and explain to me the mine-sweeping equipment that we are demonstrating the next several days. We picked up (or rather, we were landed on by) another crew of helo’s and pilots. The huge helos drag this big sled-like thing in the water to find/detonate mines. It is interesting. Apparently, there are a lot of mines out here in different areas. A lot of them are left over from the Iran-Iraq war. I also went outside to see the sunset. The air was so heavy! We were moving very slowly and there was not any trace of a breeze. It was quite stagnant and felt like I could not get a very good breath in into my lungs because the air was so thick. The colors tonight seemed to also be stagnant. Too much water in the air! Oh, well. I at least breathed some non-recirculated air!
Medical has been consistent. Smallpox side effects are decreasing. It seems to be too hot to have URI’s (upper respiratory illness) but we have plenty of skin issues. All my patients today, except two, were in to see me because of skin rashes. A few were heat rash, others were exacerbated fungal infections and some were rashes that I call just generic “dermatitis” because I have no idea what it is. Skin never looks or acts like what my dermatology book says, so often I have to “logically guess” at a diagnosis. Now it tends to be a fun game of how often I can guess correctly. Ha!

Day Thirty-One

2006-09-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

14 September 2006
Wow, a whole month has gone by. Amazing! Life on the ship has gotten a little hotter as we entered the Gulf. It is something! My water bottle was sweating as much as I was, and I am not even working in the hottest parts of the ship (frankly I avoid them at all cost). However, when I find myself with a heat complaint on my lips, I think of those in the sand, in the sun, wearing gear that weighs as much as half of me. They have no building with air conditioning, few fans, but hopefully, they at least have a little ice. My complaints will be few. The days seem to be going at a nice pace. I have settled into some routines and my spirit is picking up since I resumed exercising again. In fact, I have sore muscles this week. Since medical triage is a very large space with decent air conditioning (unlike the gym, though it is better than the flight deck!), I have arranged to have my Bos’n lead aerobics (yes, aerobics lead by my friend Bos’n McMiller who makes us all laugh as we make our muscles sore!) Monday and Wednesday and then we get the projector set up to do pilates on Tuesday and Friday while being led via DVD on the big screen. Thursdays I say that we are exercising our faith and spirituality while at woman’s bible study. That has been very enriching and Spirit-filled, and a few more people come each week. I always look forward to it!
We just received a ton of mail so the ship is happy reading their new magazines, eating their candy from home, and watching new DVDs, etc. I was one of the lucky ones and got a package from both Mom and husband. I am loved! Mom is an old pro at sending incredible packages, but I had never have gotten one from Kaalan before. It was a very fun first for us (at least fun for me!). I think that Kaalan is settling into me being away. Currently, he is motor-homing it up to Toronto to attend an ENT conference. He sounds great. I think that means I need to be coming home soon before he continues to sound too good without me there. Ha! I sure do miss him, though. We are able to talk at least twice a week and emailing has been pretty good. Because of his current schedule, he has more time to write and is home more so I can catch him on the phone. That has been such a blessing! I ask myself how anyone could ever leave a man like mine behind…homecoming will be so sweet, but I hardly ever let myself think about it. There is too much to do here right now, and home will be coming before I know it. I just am so happy Navy life is not like it was when Elma’s (Grandma Johnson’s) young husband was gone for two years during WWII--little communication, big torpedoes being aimed at you, and gone for so very long! I am so glad that she reminded me of that. Again, my complaints will be stuck on my tongue before they come out! Perspective and numerous blessings have made this time very rich so far. Thank you, Lord!

Day Twenty-Seven

2006-09-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

10 September 2006
I had a very relaxing day! I did not have duty today so I woke late, laid in bed listening to music, went to church, ate, read, fell asleep for a two-hour nap, ate again and now I am listening to the ESPN NFL show on TV and writing. Unfortunately, you have to stay up till all hours just to watch the early Sunday football game so I think I will only be able to watch pre and post game shows. Hopefully, I will get to watch one or two Bronco games while I am out. Today had our first “Steel Beach Picnic” of this deployment. While we are out, we have a couple of these to help keep up moral. They are quite fun. Starting at 1100 and ending at 1800, there is tons of salads and meat barbequed on the aft aircraft elevator. Drinks, fruit, deserts…Everyone wears PT gear (PT aka physical training). People play card games at tables brought into the hanger bay and ping-pong on a couple tables they bring out. Music plays constantly and the elevator doors are opened to keep things cool. That is where I love to hang out. I pull up a couple boxes of soda for my seat and eat watching the ocean go by. Tonight I watched the sunset as I ate wonderful chocolate cake and had an uplifting conversation with one of the pilots. Simple, relaxing, quiet…that was my day.

Day Twenty-five

2006-09-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

8 September 2006

So my “daily’s” have not been so daily. I just have not been too inclined to write. I think it is because things seem to be a bit routine and not worthy of documentation. Certainly my attitude is nothing to remember. Funny how attitudes can flux as much as the tides, at least mine has. I have been battling with annoyance, passing judgment on those around me, impatience, and an extremely low tolerance. I would like to blame it on the heat. And it is hot, actually HOT! Wouldn’t it be nice to blame my personality flaws on something else? Alas, I cannot. They are too real and come from the a deep part within me. At least I have and am being awakened to the fact that they are there! I remember growing up not really having any idea about what was wrong with me (though, I was keenly aware that something was). I am sure my family knew. Poor siblings…what they had to endure! Ah, well. So now I write with repentance, wishing so much that I could be rid of such imperfections forever. How thankful I am that I can confess to God (who I know must shake his head at such silly faults) and find relief in the fact that Jesus has freed me from my blemished and ugly personality. I know that I am not only free but his love can flow through me and cover my faults so that he can still be glorified. I sometimes am so embarrassed that I can be so selfish and intolerant. Where does it come from? Then I wonder how could people ever see me as kind and loving for the depth of fault I have. God is so powerful that he can still use me to love others—he gives me all I need to do this. How wonderful to know that the caustic side of my personality does not reign!

So, ship life…the medical side of things has been fine. We have been looking at everyone’s arms to make sure that they have a proper response to the smallpox immunization. So far, a few arms have looked like mine and they were also arms that belong to very fair skinned, blue-eyed people like me. Funny…only a few have gotten sick like I had been. I am so glad those reactions are the exceptions! Lately a lot of my intolerance, etc., has been for patients that come with silly complaints or pains and expect instant relief and a diagnosis. So many come to medical at the first sign of any pain or abnormality that a diagnosis is impossible because they have not allowed whatever process to really manifest before seeking a cure. And what is one to do with pain in feet and knees that has been going on for several months though they continue to run and walk daily in boots on steel decks? I am tired of giving reassurance and getting looks like I do not know what I am talking about. I guess it is the curse of every doctor to feel the reproach of those with imperfect bodies who are not willing to be sick or hurt or change their lifestyle. I just wish that it did not bother me as much as it does. This will be a lesson that I hope to be able to say I learned and look back and laugh at this time that I did not know how to deal with it!

Currently I am at my desk in my office. It is after dinner and I am waiting for the one phone-line medical and dental share that allows us to call local (Norfolk) or 800 numbers for free. It is difficult to get a line free when they are working properly! At least we have them. I cannot imagine how things worked just a few years ago without email and satellite phone! We have been out to sea 4 weeks now and have received mail once. Now people are excited about the mail for packages not necessarily news from home. We are very fortunate! I will keep this in mind as I have been waiting an hour for the phone line to open up.
The pictures that I am including are from the Suez Canal. It takes about 12 hours to get through the canal. As we transit, protection is provided by the Egyptian Army (a soldier at a lookout every mile or so, or 1-2 soldiers in a jeep or on an ATV driving on land along side of us). It is a very interesting experience. The canal is one-way with a large lake, The Great Bitter Lake, in the middle where boats in opposite direction go past each other. The scenery is desolate yet striking. The history of the wars in that region makes me pause in my ignorance and amazement. As I stood in the cool breeze of the morning (which quickly turned hot), I wondered how I had ever come to such place. I am blessed that my own eyes get to see such a different part of the world. It is such a shame to not be able to walk the streets of the small towns we pass and get a better idea of the smells, activities, beliefs, and colors of those who make them home…

Day Twenty

2006-09-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

3 September 2006

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance
the Lord will bring you todayl The Lord will fight for you;
you need only be still.”
…and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground,
with a wall of water on their right and on their left. Exodus 14: 13,14, 22.

Today was a nice Sunday. Not very busy at all! Church, brunch, book, dinner, devotions, sunset, phone call to Mom and Kaalan’s answering machines, and now back in my room listening to music and reflecting on the day. Church was appropriately (because of where we are) based on Moses and the Israelites crossing of the Red Sea. Chaps (aka Chaplain) stated that we all have barriers or trials that seem as insurmountable as a million people crossing the Red Sea just before the Egyptians came to decimate them. But just as God delivered the Israelites, so too will he provide deliverance to us. He promises to provide a way through the trials that will actually bring us to a better place than where we were before. He essentially will give us bridges to take us down the absolute best path! Very encouraging and comforting for those of us who might live in fear of the future or who find ourselves waist deep in sorrowful and trying situations!

Day Nineteen

2006-09-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

2 September 2006
I'll start this post with a picture of my Honey tearing apart our house while I'm away! He's hoping to have a new kitchen done by the time I return.

I just finished watching Bettlejuice (spelling?) with some of the other officers in the ward room (the officer “cafeteria”). Every Friday and/or Saturday, someone will pick a movie (usually along the lines of The History of the World, Stripes, Animal House, Caddyshack—real winners) and the galley will make popcorn. That is the real reason I love those nights. All you can eat popcorn and it isn’t the lowfat stuff either. My favorite! I usually come away full and thirsty because of all the salt I intake! Tonight I had no intention of staying for the movie after I gorged myself with popcorn, but the movie brought back some fun memories of when I was younger. It is such a goofy movie and the music is funny too. I think that we actually owned the CD (or tape at that time?). Caleb and I loved it. I cannot remember exactly any specific memory in particular; it just brings back good feelings of fun with my siblings, especially Caleb. Do you still have the sound track, Caleb?

Anyway, I have not written a daily for a couple of days. Those episodes of tiredness continued to the point that my malaise was getting the best of me. I could not believe that I felt to wiped out! Everything was sore and my low-grade fevers began to run me further into the ground (aka the “deck” here). Where was my friend Sharon who took care of me during my last cruise when I was sick? I missed you this time! I am doing better now. My arm still looks like it was possessed by something from a horror movie and my head still thinks it needs a motrin IV—other than that, I am so much better. I know the smallpox vaccine does not effect everyone the way it did me, thank goodness, or sickcall is going to be a nightmare! The whole ship is now immunized—perhaps a few sensitive ones like me will now get some empathy and SIQ (sick in quarters, aka “a sick day”). Ha!

Today was unique because we transited the **** (this is also why I have not emailed anyone—outside communication was temporarily suspended). It was amazing! I am sure that it brings in that country billions of dollars! The whole area was so desolate, though. Hot, dry, and every shade of light brown. I could not see the horizon—it was all one hazy shade of tan. And the sun was so bright! My eyes hurt even wearing sunglasses! I did not get to go outside too much, but every time I did, there was something interesting and different. That was a definite experience I will only have on this ship! Now that I feel better, I can resume my interest and excitement for where I am at again (it sure did wane when I was so tired!). I am now going to resume a novel that I just started yesterday. I sure do enjoy reading! Until later…

****I often need to refrain from mentioning our area. Thus the stars. Also, I will write about our port stop once we are a bit further away. It was a good one, though!

Day Eleven

2006-08-31T12:41:00.000-07:00

Day Eleven

25 August 2006

I have a deep fatigue today that keeps my eyes red and heavy and my body and mind moving slow. It is not a sad or a depressed tiredness, my heart is rather happy. I think it is fatigue from lack of sleep and perhaps fighting off my smallpox vaccine. We had a large church service in the Hanger Bay tonight. Though I was too tired to sing, my heart was singing. The breeze from the ocean through the large elevator doors felt like the Almighty’s hand stoking my face to remind me of the love he has for me. It was one of those times when I truly felt God’s pleasure in where I am and what I am doing. Though I miss my husband immensely. Though I am so fatigued. Though I long to be back in the mountains…I would never choose to be anywhere different than where I am now—just a tiny soul in a steel hull cruising through blue waters singing praises to God with a ship-load of dear souls.

Day Ten

2006-08-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

Day Ten
24 August 2006
What to comment about today??? I watched the helicopters drop their SAR (Search and Rescue) swimmers into the middle of the ocean and then watched them get picked up again. Looks like fun, though I will leave it to those swimmers to be left treading water in the middle of nowhere waiting to be hauled up. Only one more time change, thank goodness! Then I can get back on a regular schedule. I am looking forward to that! That’s it for now. Goodnight!

Day Nine

2006-08-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

Day Nine
23 August 2006
Today was not quite as busy. We had a General Quarter’s Drill and Mass Casualty drill attached to it. We all have our stations when the ship is being attacked so an alarm goes off and we all go to our stations. We then work with mass casualties, initial treatment and then to medical (aka Main BDS, Battle Dressing Station) so they can be stabilized, taken to surgery, or transported off the ship. It went well. I was feeling pretty run down after it, though, so I was able to catch a nap in the afternoon (which did wonders for me) and had a good workout. I just finished our nightly smallpox and predeployment screenings. Only a few more nights of that and we will be in port for a few days. I will be able to tell you more as soon as we leave that port do to security.
I was blessed today because I had two wonderful one-on-one conversations with some of the other female officers. They talked about their current struggles and prayer and faith. God’s words to me kept going through my head, “comfort, comfort my people says the Lord.” How faithful is the Lord to bring people into my life that share their struggles so that I can pray and lift up and identify with my fellow sisters. He is mighty to answer and I so look forward to watching him work in their lives! Their conversations have also been a blessing to me just to have some females to identify with and enjoy some companionship and talk (as we love to do!). Good night!

Day Eight

2006-08-31T12:37:00.000-07:00

Day Eight
22 August 2006
Today was a long day. I had about an hour for lunch and dinner and spent the rest of my day until 2100 in the medical department. Good times. There is just so much paperwork to be filled out and so many patients. Sometimes I get frustrated because there are 4 providers on board but I often feel like the only one working. The surgeon actually saw two patients today with some dragging of his feet even though he was on duty and my schedule was packed with appointments. At least he took those two off my hands. I will have to praise his help. Perhaps he will attempt to help a bit more! I think a good night sleep (on my more comfortable bed) will help. My bag of popcorn and a handful of skittles has also helped. Ha!

Day Seven

2006-08-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

Day Seven
21 August 2006
Today was a fairly busy Monday. I had two patients that came in for throat swelling and dyspnea because of their “swollen airway.” The first ate a shrimp at lunch that he has become allergic to over the year. He took benadryl and then came to medical concerned that his throat might swell shut. He was not very excited about that prospect. The second came in at dinner time. He just finished running on the flight deck even though he was battling a cold. Just after he stopped his workout, his eyes became blood shot, his eyelids and checks and lips began to swell, he no longer could breath out his nose because of congestion, and he felt a lump in his throat with pressure in his chest with breathing which were seeming to become shallower. It was nothing that a bit of epinephrine subcutaneously could not fix. In 1.5 hours both were back to normal, one with benadryl the later with epi. The first had a local allergic reaction and the later, for some reason, had angioedema likely an anaphylactoid reaction. Too bad I cannot dig more into the reasons (we have only so many resources). They were interesting, and I am so glad those two could breath the entire time (needless to say, I know).
I am going to attempt to make my bed more comfortable tonight—the more I sleep in it the more it is becoming a hammock. Also, I have a sore arm now because of our wonderful smallpox vaccinations. I fear I am going to have to figure out a comfortable sleeping arrangement that will not include my left side. I forgot about always sleeping on my left side when trying to decide which arm to submit to that silly virus. My vanity made the decision instead. Who would want a scar on your dominant arm? Ah well, it will be a scar with a good memory…

Day Six

2006-08-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

Day Six

20 August 2006

Today was Sunday. I had a nice morning. I laid in bed listening to some worship music, made some coffee and then went down to medical triage where we have church. It was pretty full this morning. The sermon was about weathering storms in life. Trials, sorrows, disappointment are bound to come in this world, so how are we going to weather them? Chaplain Hendricks made three points: we need to obey God, we need to build a firm foundation on the Lord, and we need to realize that God is with us in every storm. It was a good sermon and I am very excited about how our fellowship with everyone who was there is going to grow during this deployment. After a wonderful big brunch of potatoes, and omelet, not-so-good orange juice (Kaalan would die on this ship with the orange juice being the way that it is), and strawberry shortcake, I went up to the Flag Bridge to study the ever-changing shades of blue and grey of the sky and water and started a new book that my mom bought me called To Walk and Not Faint: A month of devotionals on Isaiah 40. I am very excited to go through it. I think that I will try to read a chapter twice a week to make it last through part of my deployment. That will give me time to contemplate the verses that it talks about. The first chapter was great! It expounded on Isaiah 40:1. Comfort my people, says the Lord. The author, Marva Dawn, states: "There is comfort to be given, declares the Lord, and God wants to give the comfort of his truth, the entire truth concerning both our condition in relation to him and his gracious remedies for our brokenness. She reminds us that each individual person matters to him and that his is an everlasting solace. It is this solace we can pass onto others, because he desires comfort for those who are hurt and broken. So, I just pray that my eyes can be opened to those who need comfort and will freely take that comfort I have already felt during this time away from home.

The other highlight from today is that while I was running on the flight deck, breathing in some fresh air and feeling the sun on my skin, we were sailing toward a grey wall of clouds. As we neared them, two ends of a rainbow appeared, its middle lost to the huge white thundercloud above it. It was very beautiful. I think with that thought, I will try to go to sleep. I still am having a hard time falling asleep because of the time changes. I think I left my ambien at home because I finally broke down and decided I needed a little help tonight but could not find them (You would have been proud, my reaching for some help through chemistry, eh Sharon? Ha!). Perhaps tomorrow I will also try to figure out a way to make my bed a bit more comfortable. Good night!

Day Five

2006-08-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

19 Aug 2006
So, Mom thought that perhaps I should not label my entries with the number of the day that I have been gone since it might be depressing. I suppose that it is, but I just wonder at how I will feel when I place my last entry at day 120? Perhaps I will not be gone that long…perhaps it will be longer. It is so hard to say. So medical has been medical—thankfully nothing exciting to report. The surgeon has been very apologetic in a certain kind of way for his initial impression. I wondered if he would change his tune. I actually think that he will be quite helpful which is nice. Mom made sure to remind me, “love him, you might be surprised.” It is amazing how that advise has worked time and time again on the many people I have been around all for the past several years. Often it is my quick judgment that places me ill at ease with someone, then reason and a still small voice in my soul reminds me to love just as my mother did. After getting over myself and my “initial impressions,” I have been amazed at how the people I feared might be my undoing turn out to be my favorite advocates. I need to remember this lesson way before I am so quick to judge.

I have been reading a lot the past few days. With the time moving forward one hour almost everyday (as we cross time zones), I am having a hard time falling asleep and then a harder time getting out of my rack. So I have been reading. Before I left, I had bought a book call, Thorn in my Heart by Higgs, a Christian historical fiction writer. I was not very impressed with the book (I had only bought it for 5 bucks) but plowed through. The last third of the book pulled me into the story, though, and so I started the 2nd book in the series. I cruised through that one because it was so extremely tragic and heartbreaking. I even came close to tears the storyline was so sad and I wondered why in the world was I putting myself through the torture of such a remorseful story that seemed to only be getting worse. I remembered one of my professors in college telling me, “words are like sandpaper to the soul. They keep it sensitive.” So I have kept at it, sensitizing my heart. I just started the 3rd book and I am bound to figure out how the author is going to make it finally a happy, redeeming ending. And how I like happy endings. Do we not love to involve ourselves in characters that endure unreasonable hardships and then come out on the other end rewarded, all the better for what they went through? I am into the 3rd book and am still waiting for the happy ending. As I lay on my hard rack with a hot water bottle at my feet because it happened to be cold in this ship last night (no one complains because we know it will end soon), I was thinking about how long we often have to wait to see our difficult, heart breaking, sometimes nauseating situations turn into something good. I know that my sorrow could never match that of the character I am reading about and her sorrow could never match that of many of the people who live in this broken world. But I know that every situation can be redeemed because of what Christ did for us on the cross. Sin destroys (as I have read in my book) but He promises to turn our sadness into gladness. Even though we feel like we have to wait an eternity to see our sorrow transformed, I know with all my heart that it will be so. How often have I seen this happen in my short life? Sorrow will end, just as I know that my book will have a redeeming ending. Though I and the world might have to wait a little longer, our broken hearts will not only be mended but will be transformed into bigger, fuller, more alive hearts than we could ever imagine. How very exciting to know that God’s love will do this! And when I pay attention closely, I know that he has already begun the transformation of my heart now, in this imperfect life…my imperfect life.

Day Two

2006-08-31T12:20:00.000-07:00

I have my music going right now. I have not had music in my room before and it is so nice. Usually I would just pop on the TV I think because it was noise and company. Now I have music so I can read, email, or think without the distraction of TV. It is nice. So I bought a new computer with Kaalan’s help right before I left which is awesome. I was able to download most of my CD’s and have some great speakers and a subwoofer too. It is very decadent. I watched a DVD on it last night and it was perfect (though the movie left much to be desired—Payback with Mel Gipson—not on the recommendation list). I am currently using my ship laptop to write emails. Yes, I live on board ship with 3 computers that are at my disposal. Rough life, eh? I just came down from the “Flag Bridge” which is an area that sits right below the main bridge (where the boat is driven). No one is using the area now so there is 2 captain’s chairs and windows along the whole length with two balconies on either side for me to enjoy. It is great now because it is also air-conditioned. With the weather being so hot and humid it is hard to see sunlight because you also melt at the same time. There I can enjoy the view and be comfortable. I studied there a bit this evening while watching the sunset and a helicopter landing and taking off for practice. I will have to take advantage of that space more! Today was busy just seeing patients, some with earaches, urinary tract infections, joint pain, and cholesterol issues. I also taught a Cardiovascular Health class and had about 12 people there. Not bad. I have not worked out yet today because the gym is just so warm it is hard to motivate myself to get there. I think that I need to become a morning person but we are going to keep turning our clocks forward almost every day while we cross the Atlantic. That does not make it any easier to wake earlier. Oh well…such are my dilemmas right now. Life is simple out here, don’t you think? Ha!

Day One

2006-08-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

So here I am day one of my deployment to the other side of the Atlantic. We have no set destination or mission yet, though we have 10 days for the high up admirals decide what the wonderful Saipan is supposed to do so that we can make good use of all the tax payers’ money.

I left by beloved husband before the sun came up. With tears in my eyes I hugged him, wondering how in the world I could ever live without him day to day. I walked up the pier (weighted down by 4 more bags of stuff because I seemed to think that I needed more creature comforts than I already had!) and entered into a different world—one without families, spouses, cell phones. We are all about running the ship and getting to be family amongst each other on a little grey steal island. It is an interesting experience. That is not to say that as you are falling asleep visions of you loved ones and the lack of their tough does not squeeze out tears, it is just that you fall into a routine that everyone else is doing and the days seem to tick off one by one and the only thing that makes you aware of the passing days is that church is held on Sunday and the reveille bells go off one hour later ( at 0700, also known as late sleepers).

So I got my new room organized and felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as I spread out my massive amounts of “things” in a 4-person room all the while thinking of my fellow corpsman in one of her 3 person high racks (bunk beds essentially) with one little locker and the space beneath her mattress (aka coffin tops) to store all she needs for daily living and comforts. Don’t worry, my guilt has been lessening as I get more comfortable and further away from land. When I went down to medical (down one level from where all the officers live) with my freshly brewed coffee, a Medical Emergency was called on the loud speaker. Shoot, no relaxing morning sipping coffee as I read my hordes of ship/Navy email. Corpsman were running everywhere with their medical bags but then the patient came in carried by several other sailors. We have a large room we call the Emergency Room for situations just as this—with all the necessities that one needs to revive and keep patients alive (that is, if you know where to find it!) The guy was a thin, long kid of 18 years old, green and clammy, lethargic but responsive (GCS 15 for those of you who care). Apparently while standing in muster he got sweaty and fainted, landing on the ground essentially unscathed except for skinned knuckles. He said he had felt a little nauseated but had no other complaints when I asked him how he felt. He was a healthy guy but had taken some Sudafed for congestion that morning. His blood pressure was good, heart at first a little slow, and O2 sat was fine. His heart monitor looked a little abnormal, though, and heart rate was speeding up to about 130. His EKG showed atrial fibrillation (abnormal heart conduction that can make the heart rate irregular and fast). Thankfully, we had about 30 minutes until the brow went up and we set sail for the seas. EMS was called and the kid was safely bundled off to a local Emergency Department. Following up on him, he was released and has a cardiology follow-up. We would have been fine taking care of him had his heart decided to have this episode while we were in the middle of the ocean, but it is always a nicer thing to have cardiologists with all their test available to the patient. .

An hour later “The Deuce is loose” was called over the intercom, meaning the Saipan aka LHA-2 aka the Big Deuce was no longer moored at the pier. Sailors in their whites manned the rails (lined around the sides of the ships) and it was a beautiful morning. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful except for meeting our Surgeon. So this underway we do not have a whole FST (fleet surgical team) like last time, just a partial one including a surgeon, OR RN, CRNA, ICU RN, respiratory tech/OR tech/ICU tech corpsman, and a clinical psychologist. The ICU nurse was wonderful when I was taking care of the a-fib guy! It is nice to not have to worry about trying to tell and teach someone how to do something quickly. I have not yet met the CRNA (he must exist though), the OR nurse is a bit of a salty, about to retire, cynical guy. The psychologist seems to be high maintenance stereotypical psychologist petite, overly make-uped lady. And then there is the Surgeon…So I already have a bit of a bias toward surgeons that is, shall we say, a bit on the not so good side. I should qualify by stating that I mostly stereotype general surgeons as opposed to ENT’s of which I am particularly fond and extremely biased in a good way of one ENT in particular. So back to this wonderful, gift to the world, God’s hands, worship me and who I am surgeon. Have I given away my first impressions of the guy? My red hair came out in a vengeance (and I am sure nostrils flaring, face the color of hell’s fires). Anyway, he basically does not want to do much and made his intentions clear about that. He does not want to be bothered with much and will hold clinic for any surgical matters once a week for one hour. Hernia? They need to wait till Monday because he is too busy sleeping in his stateroom to descend the ladder (stairs) to medical (that is my supposition). Abscesses? He does not do the work of an intern! (I said, oh, thank you very much for that comment!) Skin lesion? He does not have anything to do with general practitioners’ work! Concerned about a patient or have any questions? It will be fine to call him, he will not yell at me! That was when I said, no, you will not ever yell at me because that is not how we work on this ship. All of this happened after he failed to even introduced himself, I guess I was supposed to know everything about him already and thank my lucky stars that someone like him can be around to help out should we need it! Truth be told, I am thanking my lucky stars but I do not think that it will help his ego to express that thought. I am sure that I will have an absolutely different opinion of him at the end of this cruise, so be watching for my change of heart. He did try to be nice as I think he realized what an ass he sounded like. We will see how that works. The guy has not even taken the time to track down Dr Moll, the senior medical officer and essentially his boss who out ranks him. No good first impressions going on—he is going to find himself on the duty schedule very soon I think!
So, there you have it. A snippet of my first day! I think that I will get a cup of tea and try watching a DVD on my new computer to see how it works. Goodnight!